Gotta Love My Job

Yikes, I've had a crazy week of readings.  Non-believers, total skeptics and then the best yet: a client who called me a sinner.  This is what she said, "Before we begin Samantha, I think you should know that I think what you do for a living is not of God, and I've already scheduled a confession with a priest from another parish.  I sure don't want my priest to know I've consorted with people like you."  Holy cow!  Do you know what's crazier than that?  This: I actually read for her.  Even after she told me she'd gotten a reading with Sylvia Browne and John Edward and was sure they were both hacks.  Even after she said to me, "You know Samantha, you need to listen to me.  If you ever tell a falsehood, that will lie on your eternal soul."

What is wrong with me?  If I had told her how she spent her last ten birthdays, or what she was doing and where she was sitting at the exact moment of our reading, if I could have pulled out the nicknames for all the pets and stuffed animals she'd ever known and loved, none of it would have been enough to convince her that what I do is real, that God really does exist and her loved ones really are safe and happy and heaven.

So, one of my New Year's resolutions for 2011 is to grow strong enough in my own abilities and what I do so that the next time I come across a client like that, I can say what I should have said, "I don't think you're ready for a reading, and I'm not going to read for you."

Here's hoping we all learn to have faith in ourselves this holiday season, so that we can be the best we can be.

Three Important Words

Based on the title of this post, you're probably thinking the three most important words are, "I love you."  Maybe.  But, to me, there are three different words that are much more important and, sometimes, much harder to say.  "I am sorry."

I write and speak so often about forgiveness -- how important it is to forgive others, to extend a generous heart, to be open to releasing past pains.  But it is even more important to be willing to ask for forgiveness.

I'm lucky to meet some amazing people through my work.  One of my clients is a lovely and beautiful woman who is 91 years young.  Married to a successful and wealthy man, she's lived an exciting life.  Yet now that he's gone, she comes to see me every six months with the same question, "When am I going to die?" She misses her husband, she's led a great life, she's ready to go.  I always try to tell her two things: 1) that's not for any intuitive reader to tell you, and if one does, she's lying.  Only God knows that.  We're not meant to know that information. 2) I always see her happily celebrating this Christmas season.  She leaves disappointed every time saying, "I thought last Christmas would be my LAST Christmas."

This last time that she came to see me, I really bugged my guides and her guides until I got an answer.  "Why, please tell me why she is here when she's so ready to go home?" The answer I received came through very clearly.  "She has unfinished business with her son.  She needs to ask for his forgiveness."

Oh dear.  This is when my job gets tricky. When I relayed the message, she was confused.  "But I gave him everything.  He had the best clothes, the best education, the best vacations, everything.  I gave him everything."

I told her that he's felt it very difficult all these years to fulfill the expectations of his family, that he felt as though he could never fill his father's mighty shoes, that he was never good enough for her or his father.

"Well, that's ridiculous," she said crossing her arms.

"I'm supposed to ask you about 37.  What happened to him when he was 37?"

She looked away for a moment.

"What happened when he was 37 is connected to what we're talking about now.  Do you remember anything about that time in his life?"

She turned back to me and said quickly, "That's when he attempted suicide, but I don't see what that has to do with me."

I just stared back at her.  I didn't know what else to say.

"Well, if it will help me move on out of here, I guess I'll give it a try."

I haven't hear from her, so I'm not sure if she gave it a try or if she's enjoying this Christmas season.  But I know those were difficult messages for her to hear.  As a mom, I know how hard parents try to give their children every opportunity.  We're never going to get it right.  I always joke that you should start two savings accounts for your kids -- a college one and a therapy one -- because you will make mistakes.  And most of them will be completely unintentional.  But those three words magically make all those mistakes somehow a little bit okay.  "I am sorry."

Another woman came to see me recently.  She wanted to know why her granddaughter was so mean to her.  When I asked her guides for the answer, I hesitated.  "I'm hearing that it's because of your daughter.  She hasn't spoken negatively about you to her daughter, but your granddaughter senses the distance anyway and acts accordingly.  What happened in your daughter's life when she was 12?"

The woman sighed.  "That's when I left her father.  I don't think she's ever forgiven me for that."

I sensed that this client needed to leave this man, but her daughter, at the age of 12, probably didn't understand all of that then and still held residual resentment all these years later.  "Maybe you could write your daughter a card and tell her that you're sorry for all that happened then, that you love her and you're proud of her."

She shook her head.  "I couldn't do that."

"Please understand, I'm not saying that you should apologize for leaving your husband.  I feel that is was imperative that you did what you did, but your daughter may not have seen it that way."

"Well, a lot was placed upon her then.  I relied on her to take over a lot of responsibilities."

"Maybe you could just apologize for that?"

"No, definitely not."

I don't know why forgiveness -- either offering it or receiving it -- is so hard for most people.  But I do know that it's one of the most important acts we can do for our soul growth.  When we block forgiveness, we block growth.  We say no to joy, release, and peace.  And we say yes to coming back to this Earth again and again to deal with these same people and these same issues until we can face the issue of forgiveness.

This holiday season, if there's someone you think is angry with you, offer the best gift of all -- an apology.  You'll feel lighter, stronger and more peaceful.

Holiday Frazzle Dazzle

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted, and I apologize dear bloggers.  The holiday frazzle dazzle has me surely in its grip.  I completed all my Christmas shopping the first week in November, so you think I'd be good to go, right?  No, of course not. There are Christmas parties, elf-on-the-shelf duties, cookie swaps, school programs, Christmas cards to get in the mail and all that decorating.  Why can't they make Christmas lights that actually work year to year?

I have, however, made a promise to myself and I hope you'll join me because it's made all the difference.  Every night, if I have nothing else going on, I stop everything at 9 pm.  No emails, no phone calls, no wrapping, no addressing envelopes, no elf tricks, nothing.  I just sit, make a cup of tea and either read a book or watch a good Christmas movie.  It's the only way I can de-stress and get ready for the next day of holiday "must dos."

To all you moms and dads out there, I read in Family Fun magazine a great idea to incorporate the true meaning of the holiday season.  I bought three glass jars, wrote one of my child's name on each and then cut out 24 pieces of paper.  On each, I wrote a good deed and tossed the 24 pieces of paper in the jar.  Now each morning after we open our advent calendar, the girls happily reach for the good deed jar.  Every day that they complete their good deed, they put the paper in a fancy box I bought.  Then on Christmas eve, we'll put it under the tree as our gift for Jesus.  Here are some examples of good deeds:

Choose a toy or book to donate to charity
Set and clear the table
Tell your sisters why you love them
Call an aunt or uncle and tell them you love them
Write a card for nana and pop pop
Hold the door for someone
Tell your teacher she's a great teacher
Do something nice for someone in the family
Pick up a piece of litter

I hope you all are enjoying this holiday season and all the blessings it can bring.  While this time does often remind us of painful memories -- loved ones lost and family members we haven't spoken to -- it does offer us an opportunity to enjoy the subtler gifts of life -- peace, love and charity.  Spend some time this week relaxing.  Don't let the holiday blues get you and steer clear of the holiday stress bug.  Take a drive after dinner, play Christmas music and admire the holiday lights around your neighborhood.  Bake cookies.  Watch a fun Christmas movie -- Hallmark and ABC Family are playing them nightly.  Choose an angel off the angel tree in your local mall or church and practice anonymous gift giving.

For those of you celebrating Hanukkah, as you embrace the light and love of these remaining days of this important time, I hope the light of the season stays with you all year and that we can all be mindful of the miracle that light can bring us with faith, hope and prayer.

A Brother To Watch Over You

During a reading early this morning, a brother came through for his sister.  I immediately warmed to his energy -- he was a warm hearted soul.  He showed me a fire that the extended family had experienced but had been stopped and an upcoming plumbing problem.  The brother made it clear to me that his job was taking care of his family. He had prevented that fire from spreading and getting worse, and he was helping by giving a warning about a water issue in a work room coming up for the family.

When I do readings, the people who come through often tell me about what they're doing on the other side.  If they're newly crossed (within the last couple of years), usually they're still on vacation.  They spend that time reconnecting with friends and family, traveling and acclimating to their new and wonderful setting. But after some time has passed, they will often be given a job.  Teachers will work with young souls, artists will inspire artists on earth, doctors will help new souls prepare to return, nurses will assist souls transitioning back to heaven.  In my experience, someone usually gets the job of watching over his or her family.  Not every family member you know who has passed on has the job of watching over the family.  Usually, just one or two members are chosen.  In my experience these souls usually have a lot of compassion, loyalty and objectivity -- an ability to see situations from all sides so they can most accurately help every family member.

What job will you want when it's your turn?  Interesting thought to ponder, isn't it?

For me, I'd like to help people struggling with doubt and faith because I believe faith -- true faith which involves surrender and trust -- is the key to everything: happiness, success, love, health, and true peace.

I'll be away from the computer for the next few days, so I'd like to wish all you readers a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving.  I am so thankful for all you readers.  Thank you for being such a wonderful part of my journey.

Psychic Teachers Telecourse!

                                             

Discover the Psychic in You!

Thursday, December 2

8:30 – 10:00 pm est.

Join Deb and Samantha for this exciting tele-class where you’ll learn how to identify and tap into your psychic strengths.  If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you have psychic abilities.

·      Do you dream in color?

·      Do your dreams sometimes come true?

·      Do you feel uncomfortable in crowds?

·      Do you get gut feelings about people that later prove to be true?

·      Has a friend called you shortly after you were thinking about them?

·      Have you called a friend only to have them say, “I was just thinking about you!”

·      Have you ever seen a ghost?

·      As a child were you afraid to sleep at night because you sensed energies in the room?

·      Do coincidences seem to follow you wherever you go?

Learn how to hone, strengthen and test your own abilities.  Deb and Samantha will teach you how to meditate, how to increase your intuitive skills and how to trust your abilities.  You’ll have the opportunity to ask them questions and listen to others’ points of views.

To register for the class, go to Samantha’s website at www.thecrystalchick.com Click on PAYMENTS.  Under WORKSHOPS, scroll down to b)$25 and you’ll be guided to PAYPAL.  Once you’ve done this, you’ll receive an email with instructions on how to phone in for the class.  Prior to the class, all handouts will be emailed to you.  Email Samantha or Deb at psychicteachers@gmail.com if you have any questions.

Crystal Clear

One of my favorite parts of doing readings is at the end when the client gets to reach into my bowl of crystals, close their eyes and "choose" the one that's right for them.  Usually, my readings tend to evolve into a theme, a central message, and the crystals they choose always reflect this theme.  Just this week, I had a man come in to see me.  He's going through a divorce, and I felt that he'd need to take on a primary parenting role in the upcoming months and will need to be both a father and a mother on many occasions.  The crystal he chose was purple agate -- mother love.

A woman recently met someone and hoped the relationship would last; I felt it would.  The crystal she picked was rose quartz -- love coming to you.

A man came to see me who I felt would finally get the successes he'd been working so hard for.  This was someone who earned through blood, sweat and tears everything he had.  The message was that he'd finally get the pay off, but it would come through even more hard work.  He chose the only stone I've ever had in that bowl that's self-healed.  This is a really interesting phenomena where a stone is cracked and then somehow it heals itself.  You can still see the crack, but instead of a jagged edge, it's smooth.  The self-healed stone represents someone who makes his own way, forges his own path and is solely responsible for his own success and happiness.  How fitting that he should pick the self healed stone!

Often, a stone is in that bowl that I don't remember putting in there.  Recently, a woman came to see me who was going through a terrible period of loneliness.  I felt that it would turn around soon, but I could see she doubted me.  Life had just been too hard for her, and she'd given up on many of her hopes and dreams.  She chose a sunstone -- symbolizing positivity, sunny times and happiness coming your way.  And I have no memory of getting that stone!

To me, crystals are gifts to us -- they provide a mirror for us to see things more clearly and they offer us a chance to heal naturally and completely.

Earning Your Wings

I had a humorous moment with a father who passed away and was trying to communicate with his son.  He wasn't a big believer in people like me and what I do for a living, so it was difficult at first for him to get information through to me.  But soon I was picking up his energy, and I really liked his personality -- funny, intelligent and yet humble.  He said he was shocked at the beauty of the other side.  He always believed in a heaven, but never really spent a lot of time thinking about it.  Then he showed me wing pins.  Remember when you were a kid and flew for the first time, the stewardess would give you a pin with wings and say, "Now you've earned your wings?"  That's what he showed me.  At first, I thought it was a special memory he shared with his son, but that wasn't it.  Then I thought maybe he was trying to show me that birds, the eagle in particular, is a special sign he shows his son.  But no, that wasn't it.  He just kept showing me that pin, and then I got it!  It wasn't a symbol but a literal picture he was showing me.  He was telling his son that he'd made it to heaven, had "earned his wings!"

Mystical Experience

I shared this story on Sunday night's radio show, but I thought I'd blog about it too.  I can't stop thinking about this amazing experience I had at church this weekend.  As I was kneeling and watching our priest prepare the Eucharist, I kept seeing something spinning out of the corner of my right eye.  It looked like there was something or someone hovering by the ceiling of my church, but every time I turned up to face it directly, I saw nothing but the ceiling.   This happened three times.  I was sure the people seated around me were beginning to think I was nuts, so I stopped looking up at the ceiling.  Then I felt this cool, tingling sensation run throughout my body.  It was almost as though someone were pouring cold water down my veins.  But it felt really great -- very alive and refreshing.  At the same time, I smelled this wonderful aroma of newness, innocence.  The closest smell I can relate it to would be baby powder.  And then I saw these drops of pure light, so bright that it looked like drops of pure silver, falling into people's heads.  Just one drop per person.  It was amazing.  I really don't have words for it, and I'm completely aware that I'm doing a horrible job of explaining this experience.  But I got the sense that we were all being prepared spiritually for the Eucharist.  I felt as though some type of amazing cleansing was taking place, and I had a sense of knowing that this occurs every week, that just as we need to shower every day we also need to cleanse our souls.

Ghosts at Walt Disney World

Check out the pictures I posted on our Facebook Fan Page of some orbs I caught on camera while vacationing at Walt Disney World with my family.  Just go to www.facebook.com and search psychicteachers -- all one word.

Enjoy!

The Giving Tree

The day before Halloween, one of my daughters asked me if she could start her letter to Santa.  I said yes, of course, but inside I worried that they'd come to see the holidays as just a time of presents, gifts, and getting.  I want them to focus on the true joy of the holidays -- giving.  So I cut out a nine foot tall tree out of packing paper and taped it to a wall in my dining room.  Then my oldest daughter and I spent an afternoon cutting hundreds of leaves out of construction paper.  I told them that every time they do something nice for someone, they need to write it down on the leaf.  They didn't seem too excited.  I think one of them even asked, "Do you we have to?" So I told them that on November 30, I'd count to see who had the most leaves, and that person would get to go out with me for a manicure and a fancy dinner at the restaurant of their choice.  Boom!  They were in and then, like a miracle, they seemed to forget about the contest and just got into the idea of doing things for others.  

Here are some of their leaves:

I had my last good eraser and gave it to a girl in my class who really wanted it.

I helped my friend Claire to not cry.

A girl needed $2 to buy a book at the book fair, so I gave her my last $2.

I stuck up for a girl who was getting picked on.

I was a good sport when my team didn't win the game at P.E

I shared my birthday presents with my sisters.

They keep getting more creative and excited each day. So, I shared this idea with people on my newsletter list and asked them to share a "leaf" with me.  Today, I got my first one!

Arlene in North Carolina recently adopted two dogs who she's going to train to be therapy dogs.  

I love it!  If you get a chance, post a leaf here or send me an email: samantha@thecrystalchick.com

I promise it will make your holiday more meaningful and rewarding.

All Soul's Day

Today is All Soul's Day.  Traditionally, it was created to pray for souls in purgatory, but I like to think of it as a lovely day to encourage us to remember our loved ones who have already transitioned.  When I do readings, I can't begin to express how much it means to them when we remember them here.  Your loved ones will tell me about the candles you light for them, the mention you gave of them in your wedding program, the flowers you bring to the grave, the picture of them you had restored.

One dad thanked his son for cleaning the guns he'd left to his son.  A grandfather was pleased that his Purple Heart had finally been framed in a shadow box.  A mom was thrilled that she was mentioned in the wedding program and a candle was lit for her on the altar. A brother thanked his sibling for taking such good care of his truck. A dad was glad that his son carried his funeral card with him always as a reminder of his beloved dad.  One mom loved the way her daughter kept favorite pictures of her mom in the family bible.

They see us, they visit us always and they love to see us remembering them.  Wouldn't you?  It's how we keep them alive here.  If you don't celebrate All Soul's Day, that's fine.  Just take a moment on your loved one's birthday to celebrate them.  On my mother-in-law's birthday, I make her favorite meal and a birthday cake.  And we all tell really fun stories about her.  We celebrate her life rather than mourn her departure.

Keep their pictures up and around, make a donation to a charity in their name, tell fun stories about them when appropriate, and pray for them.  Please don't misunderstand, I do not believe our loved ones are in purgatory.  But I do believe that many of our loved ones who may not have been stellar humans here on Earth are going through some difficult times over there.  Watching their life review and the pain they instilled on others is not easy.  Realizing that their missed opportunities, wasted chances and painful words and actions is very hard for them.  I've been told and shown in many ways that our prayers for them DO help.

My grandmother had a difficult life and was not the nicest person you could hope to meet.  When she died, I felt, heard and saw nothing of her for years and years.  I didn't think much of it.  But then one night she appeared to me and she didn't look well.  Her face was gray, her hair was disheveled, her skin wrinkled and her energy just felt so depleted.  She asked for my prayers.  So I called my mother and several members of her family and asked them all to pray for Grammy.  About three weeks later, my grandmother returned.  She was dressed in a beautiful Chanel suit, her hair was done and she radiated such a peaceful energy.  All she said was, "Thank you." And she was gone.

Now please understand faithful blog readers -- I am not saying that if you pray for your loved ones on the other side, they too can get designer clothing and a face lift.  Ha, ha!  I think both her appearances to me were symbolic to let me know how she was doing energetically.

So go ahead, give it a try.  Say a prayer for your loved ones, honor them, remember them, love them so that they will always have a home to call their own in our hearts.

Happy Halloween!

I took this picture from a local church in town.  Their signs always crack me up.  According to them, everyone is going straight to hell.  Isn't it crazy that people can read the same bible and take away so many different interpretations?

I hope you all had a great Halloween.  My kids had their costumes on at 3:00!  They were so excited.  We had a party and parade at our clubhouse and then they trick or treated until 9:00.  Even my 4 year old wanted to keep going.  And what do you know?  They don't like Snickers, Butterfingers or Kit Kats.  I wonder who will eat those for them?

And will wonders never cease?  We had all that fun without sacrificing one animal, not even a mouse!

Religious Fears

I receive about 3 - 5 emails each week asking me the same question:  How can I be religious and psychic at the same time?  Doesn't the bible say that mediums are evil?

I always try to take my time responding to these emails because I, too, grappled with the same questions.  Does the bible warn people away from "sorcerers" and their ilk?  Yes, of course it does. And for good reason too.  First, the church authorities wanted people coming to them for advice and help, not some lady who also claimed to be a healer.  Second, they wanted to protect their flock.  Not all people who claimed to talk to the dead and see the future were of the light.  There are still thousands of frauds, fakes and charlatans out there.  And in those early years after Christ died when the books of the bible were being put together, people were so superstitious, so ready to believe, that it would have been very dangerous indeed to encourage that behavior.

None of us follows everything in the bible.  Most of us can't even follow the 10 Commandments.  I lie all the time.  My husband just spent an afternoon installing a hideous new LED light fixture in our kitchen.  It's so bright, my daughters are pretending our kitchen is a pretend stage.  But did I tell him how much I hated it?  No.  I didn't want to hurt his feelings or discourage him from finishing everything else on the "Honey Do" list.  So I lied.  "It looks great.  Thanks for fixing that!"

I covet things all the time.  My neighbor just bought an amazingly gorgeous new car, and I totally covet that thing.  My friend is always wearing the latest, coolest, newest trend and I definitely covet her wardrobe and get a lot of good ideas from her too!

Read Leviticus.  We break rules in the bible all the time.  Men shave, we eat pork, we don't stone people anymore.  Learn your bible, study your history before taking giant leaps in judgement out of fear.

When I spoke to our former priest about what I did, all he asked me was this: "Are you keeping God at the center of your work?"

And I said, "Yes!  God's the only reason I'm doing this work."

My priest said, "Then you're okay."

I pray in and I pray out of each reading always asking God to guide my words, acts, thoughts and deeds.

Is this work dangerous?  Potentially.  Every work is dangerous though.  I was more scared teaching most days than I ever am when talking to spirits :)

If you're negative, if you let your ego take over, if you make this work all about you, if you're mean and enjoy the power of "knowing" things that aren't any of your business, if you gossip about things you intuit, if you take advantage by charging exorbitant fees, if you talk about your clients to other people, then yes, this work can be dangerous because that negative energy would attract negative spirits.

But if you're a lightworker, if you always keep this work about God and not you, if you honor this work, maintain strict confidentiality and never take pride in the messages, then you'll be safe.  Like I said, "Pray in and pray out."

Neighborly Ghosts

A couple of weeks ago, I came home and discovered my answering machine blinking with a message.  When I pressed it, all I heard was static for a moment and then a scary voice yelled, "HELP!"  Then nothing.  Click.

Last week as my husband and I were about to fall asleep, we heard a loud noise coming from the living room as though someone were playing a computer game.  We rushed toward the direction of the sound and finally found my children's laptop which had been pushed under a chair in the living room.  The cord was unplugged and wrapped around it.  When my husband unwound the cord and opened the laptop, we turned the loud computer game off and pressed the power off button.  Spooky.

I told my next door neighbor about this, and she said, "That's weird.  The other night my husband and I had just gone to bed and we have a ceiling fan above our bed.  The fan works, but the lights never have.  This night, just as we turned out the lights to go to bed, the ceiling fan lights turn on. It was weird."

I said, "What night was this?"

She said, "Thursday."

"That's when our computer went off.  It happened just after midnight."

She said, "I don't know what time it was.  I'll ask my husband."

The next day, we were all outside watching our kids play, and she asked her husband what time the weird thing with the lights happened and he said, "Midnight.  I remember looking at the clock just as the lights went on."

Double spooky.

When my clients email me with similar tales and ask me who it was, I always have the same reply.  "Close your eyes.  Who's the first person who comes to mind?" Usually, people will think of their deceased grandmother, an uncle who just passed, a friend they haven't thought in awhile who's on the other side.  And I'll tell them, "It's just their way of saying hello."  But this time, when I closed my eyes and tried to focus on who this was, I saw nothing.

Who knows?  Maybe the veil that gets thinner right around Halloween is already thinning out.  All I know, is I'm putting up extra protection of white light around my family, me and my home.  Oh, and my neighbors too!

Manifesting Through Action

I received an email from a woman who's been unemployed for over a year.  She said she's been applying all the principles of manifesting and trying to use the law of attraction to attract a new job, but no job.  This is a frustrating experience, but the woman said she's only applying for jobs that are similar in compensation to her previous job.  This is limited thinking.  If you put out limited thinking, you're going to get limited thinking in return.

This is a crappy economy, but it doesn't mean the law of attraction can't work for you.  When I finished school, I remember my dad said, "Send out 100 resumes."  I said, "But there aren't 100 teaching jobs out there in this whole state."  But he explained that if I put the energy out there to one and all, I'd receive a job.  And he was right!  I received two job offers that summer.

When I moved to a different state, however, the situation wasn't as positive, and teaching jobs were very difficult to come by.  So I wrote for our city's newspaper and waitressed at my sister's restaurant at night.  Within a year, I had the teaching job I'd always wanted.

On summers off, if I couldn't find a job, I'd create one.  One summer, I baked cookies for local coffee shops.  I printed out business cards that read The Cookie Lady, received approval from the health department, and baked up boxes of cookies for area coffee shops to try.  Within a week, I had contracts with three coffee shops.  Another summer, I tutored students and did freelance writing.  One summer I assisted a real estate magazine editor.

Ask a teacher about summer jobs, and you'll get a lot of funny stories.  One of my friends had the grand job of gluing bows on bras at a local factory.  Another teacher friend of mine sewed costumes for pets.  Where there's a will, there's a way.  Put the energy out there and it will come back to you.

The law of attraction works like karma.  Whatever you put out -- in thought, act or deed -- comes back to you threefold.  If you're always complaining, gossiping and whining, guess what you're going to receive?  If you believe the economy will keep you from making more money, you're sending out a literal instruction to the universe that reads: I'm not ready to receive.

If you want a job, a relationship, a new health regimen, take actions in that direction.  And throughout, don't forget to give abundantly and with confidence in little and small ways.  Soon, you'll be receiving that job or relationship of your dreams.

Here's what 20th century mystic Flower Newhouse had to say about the law of attraction:

"Supply is related to giving.  We give something -- labor, time, unselfish love, or moral assistance -- and the great law of compensation repays us with the Good we have earned and we must give more of ourselves to the world's need.  To master unemployment, we should examine ourselves to see where in the past we have worked grudgingly.  Steadiness of work shall be ours to the degree that we give service willingly and in love of God."

And since today is the feast day of St. Therese the Little Flower, it's fitting to mention that we can give back in small ways such as a smile to a stranger, returning a cart we find left in the parking lot, calling a friend who's having a tough week and just listening, giving a nice waitperson an extra tip.  Be creative and discover the small and large ways you can give to the circle of abundance.  Before you know it, you'll be receiving not only a job but a better appreciation for your life.

Time Is Running From Me!

Every time someone asks me how I am, lately I always have the same answer: "BUSY."  It's been raining for a week here in North Carolina.  No, really, a solid week straight. It's been raining so hard that they cancelled school today.  Rainy days are supposed to be enjoyed curled up with a good book.  But all week I've been working, mothering and cleaning my house.  Doing laundry. Running out into the rain for errands to the grocery store, post office and bank.  Doing laundry. Walking into my office dripping wet from the rain.  Doing laundry. Trying to balance my preschooler on my hip and my umbrella in my hand along with her backpack without getting either of us wet.  Doing laundry. Doing homework with my third grader -- multiplication, rounding and fractions OH MY!

Today, I spent a lovely day home with my children going to the library, having lunch with their friends and working on a puzzle in the afternoon.  After an evening of phone readings, I worked on my monthly newsletter and completed my daughter's invitations for her birthday party.  It's almost midnight, and I still have so much to do!  Pack lunches, respond to emails, work on my writing project.

I have a lovely basket of books I keep my bed.  These are all books I want to read, desire to curl up with, dream about enjoying, and yet the time to actually do the reading alludes me.  For a literature class I'm teaching, I have to read "Othello," "Antigone" and "Trifles."  This week.  And prepare lesson plans, a quiz and a paper assignment for those amazing works of drama.  The basket of books will have to wait.

Tomorrow I have a full day of readings interrupted only by a volunteer hour at my children's school followed by dinner with friends.  That basket of books will have to wait.

This weekend I'm watching my friend's children which will be truly delightful and fun, Sunday is church and our radio show.  Monday begins with readings and ends with teaching a four hour class.  That basket of books will have to wait.

But for how long?  If I don't get to your email this weekend, know it's because I've found a moment to hit pause on my life and reach into that happy basket of books because one thing I'm learning is that the world will never stop for us.  We have to stop for it, take a time out and demand a moment when we're not BUSY!  Right after we finish doing the laundry.

A Psychic's Pet Peeves

So I've met some amazing and interesting clients in my years of doing readings, yet some are more memorable than others for reasons soon to be made obvious.  After a funny experience today, I thought I'd post my top ten Psychic Pet Peeves:

1) Clients who leave their cell phones on and then when said cell phone rings, client answers phone and proceeds to have a ten minute conversation.

2) When scheduling an appointment, client asks, "How about giving me a preview so I know you're legit?"

3) Clients who say at the end of a reading, "Is it time to cross your palm with silver?"

4) Clients who say, "I don't believe in this mumbo jumbo, but I thought it'd be fun to give it a try."

5) People who, after I tell them it's probably not a good idea to continue the affair with the married man, proceed to tell me in detail that they can't leave because the sex is so good. Yikes.

6) This conversation: "Did your dad pass away in a car accident?"
Client: "What color was the car?"
Me: "Black."
Client: "Okay, well what make and model?"
You've got to love skeptics.

7) Or this conversation: "Your mom is showing me that the month of January is important in your family.  Is there a birthday, anniversary or death passing in January?"
Client: "No"
Me: "Are you sure? Because she keeps showing me January."
Client: "Well, my parents got married in January."
Me: "So, isn't that an anniversary?"
Client: "It's not my anniversary.  I got married in May."

8) And this conversation for sure: "Your grandfather wants you to know that he's proud of the college scholarship you earned."
Client: "He saw that?"
Me: "Yes, and he likes the new house you just bought."
Client: "That's great.  Tell him thanks.  Now, can you tell me who the next guy in my life is and when will I meet him?"
Me: (What I feel like saying) "So you're grandfather just used up a lot of energy, time and love to travel through several dimensions to tell you that he loves you, he's proud of you and he still checks in on you and all you care about is who's the next guy coming into your  life? Give me a break.

9) Telling a client that she's creating bad karma by having an affair and becoming pregnant with a child who's paternity she's unsure of, and having that client shrug and say, "That's okay.  I don't believe in karma."

10) Clients who "no show" and then expect me to have an appointment available for them "ASAP."

In all honesty, I love, adore and appreciate my clients.  But some give me a chuckle now and then!

Opening to Receive

I apologize for the lack of blogs recently, but I've been crazy busy.  I'm sure many of you know how difficult it is to balance home, work and family.  Now I'm looking forward to the cool, Fall days that surely lay ahead.

I've had a lovely summer meeting clients old and new and have received the loveliest gifts!  One client gave me an angel figurine that I adore.  Another woman knitted me a beautiful meditation shawl that I can't wait to use as soon as the weather turns a bit chillier.  An artist painted me a spectacular rendition of a waterfall that now hangs in my office.  Just this week a client brought me a brass bowl brimming with crystals she collected while living in Saudi Arabia in the 60's.  Here's where the topic of the blog post comes in.  My response is always gratitude touched with a tang of guilt.  I often say, "You didn't have to do this."  Or, "This is too much."  And sometimes, I'm embarrassed to admit, I'll say, "Can I give you something in return?"

Yes, folks, it's true.  I have a problem with receiving.  I'm great with giving, but when I receive gifts and unexpected moments of receiving, I feel an imbalance is occurring and I want to correct it. So I bought a great book by Catherine Ponder called Open Your Mind to Receive.  In it, she outlines a three step process to receiving your good:

1) She believes we all need to tithe 10 % of our income.  She says this shows faith in God that all our good will be supplied to us as long as we continue to contribute to the circle of abundance.  For me, I choose to tithe each week 5% to my church and 5 % to a charity, person or event that needs help.

2) She believes we need to give to ourselves.  Each day, try to find something comforting you can do for yourself -- a hot bath, a nice run, a massage, a manicure, an hour in a book store, a movie.

3) Give to others.  Ponder says it's important to give abundantly of our time, talent, and money to others who need us.

This, she says, will begin to lay the foundation for a heart that's ready to receive.

My affirmation today is:  I receive all my good today.  All my good is coming to me now with speed and ease.

How to Make the Secret Work For You

Okay, so by now everyone has seen The Secret (www.thesecret.tv) and read every book out there on the law of attraction.  But, as many of you have probably already learned, it's not as easy as they make it sound.  You can't exactly think of a car, test drive the car, get a brochure of the car, and then presto!  You've got the car.

Why not?

Well, for one there's a little thing called karma.  If you're trying to manifest a relationship with someone and part of your karma is that it's not supposed to happen because someone better is down the road, it's not going to happen -- no matter how many times you "feel it real."

And for another, there's a big thing called conditioning.  Many of us have been conditioned to revert back to negative thinking.  Let me show you through example.

We get excited after watching The Secret.  We think, "Wow, if that little kid can manifest a bike, I'm going to manifest a great career."  You do all the work, practice the positive affirmations, plan for success maybe by purchasing the suit you'll wear to the big interview for the big new career.  Maybe you even get that interview, and then BAM!  No job.  No big career.  The suit gets put to the back of the closet.  Your ego gets slammed to the ground, and you think, "Great!  I'm a big loser.  The Secret sucks, and those Abraham channeling people are nuts." And you go right back to your old way of thinking.  "This is good enough for me."  "I should feel blessed for the job I have." "Well, you can't have your cake and eat it too."

And why the hell not?  What good is cake if you don't eat it?

If you get a chance, check out Greg Braden's work -- especially The Spontaneous Healing of Belief and The Divine Matrix.  He uses science to explain how we can reprogram our brains to think positively for us.  How?  He says all it takes is spending 2 - 3 minutes a day focusing on gratitude to change your brain.  Sounds crazy, right?  But the science backs him up.  When we think thoughts of gratitude, we calm down, our cortisol levels lower, endorphins are released, serotonin levels increase and we begin to change our energy.  We become more open to positivity, more receptive to happy outcomes.

So give it a try.  Every day, spend 2 - 3 minutes closing your eyes and visualizing all the things in your life your grateful for -- the beautiful day you spent at the park, your boss telling you what a good job you did on the Peters account, your child running out the door to hug you when you come home, your dog always waiting for you to spend some happy time with him, the birds outside always singing their morning song.  I could go on and on (can you tell?), but, really, there is so much in each day to be grateful for.  Soon, you'll start to see changes in your thinking, your reactions, your unconscious programming and this will in turn change your energy, increase your vibration and make you more receptive to attracting positive things, events and people to you.  Goodbye energy vampires -- hello happiness!

Making Crystal Sprays

Crystal Sprays are a wonderful way to cleanse, charge and enhance your energy.  You can make all different types of crystal sprays for a variety of reasons.  One of my favorite crystal sprays is a ROSE QUARTZ spray.  All you have to do is pour distilled water in a glass bowl, drop a rose quartz or two in the water and place this in the sun to charge for 4 – 6 hours.  Then pour this (including the rose quartz) into a spray bottle.  Hold the bottle in your hands and ask the water and the crystal to bring a loving vibration into everything it touches.  Feel free to add essential oils of your choosing. Then spray this in your home, your car, office, on plant and on yourself.

I make a spray that I call Angel Spray because I always ask the angels to add their own sparkle of love and light to each spray bottle.  I add frankincense, myrrh, lavender and different varieties of sage.  Then I add several crystals representing each of the seven chakras.  I also charge it with each of the Reiki symbols.  I use the spray to cleanse my office before and after each reading.  I use it to quickly cleanse my house when I don’t have time to sage it.  And I use it each morning with my daughters.  Right before we leave for school, I spray the Angel Spray all around them and ask their angels to fly ahead of them to ensure they have a safe and happy day.

Make your own spray today.  Pick out your crystals based on what kind of energy you’re focusing on.  For example:

Green Aventurine – Prosperity

Citrine – Success

Rhodocrosite – Forgiveness

Apophylite – Meditation

Black Tourmaline – Protection

Place it in a bowl filled with holy or distilled water.  Add essential oils.  Pray over the water and ask the stones, your guides and angels to bring their loving energy and vibration into the water and then add to your spray bottle.  Add a little vodka to make your spray bottle last a bit longer.  Don’t add rubbing alcohol; the smell will overpower everything! Experiment and have fun.  

Are You Psychic?

There’s one question I get a lot in my job  -- "Do you think I’m psychic?"  This question is almost always asked at the end of a reading as I’m walking the client to the door.  The question is often whispered as though they’re embarrassed that they think they’re psychic.   

I always answer that question this way: “If you’re wondering if you’re psychic, then you probably are.”   But I what I want to add is: “And don’t be embarrassed by it!”  It’s a gift we all have.  It’s just that only a few of us choose to open that gift.

Then, I ask these questions:

1) Do you dislike and often avoid crowds?

2) Do you dream often and in color?

3) Do your first impressions of people most often prove correct?

4) Do you have a deep interest in all things paranormal?

5) Have you seen a spark of light or something flash out the corner of your eye?

6) As a child, did you have a difficult time sleeping?  Were you often scared or did you just wake up a lot?

7) Have you ever had a dream come true?

8) Do you easily guess the ending of books or movies?

9) Do you prefer to interact with people one on one rather than in a group?

10) So you see things in shades of gray rather than black and white?  In other words, do you easily see things both sides of a situation?

If you answered yes to six or more of these questions, then it’s likely you have psychic ability.  Check out my recommended reading page on my website --- www.thecrystalchick.com  and read some of the books to learn more about your gift.  We need more lightworkers!

Say Yes

Today is Mother Mary's birthday, and in church today, Father Marco thanked Mary for saying yes to God. This got me thinking about all the things in my life I've said yes to . . . . and all the things I haven't said yes to.  What are you saying yes to in your life today?  And what are you saying no to or running from?

Many of the clients I see aren't saying yes or no -- they're just hiding.  The man having the affair is hiding from the fact that his marriage needs a lot of work.  The woman having the affair with that man is hiding from the fact that he's never leaving his wife.  The client who hates his job is hiding from the fact that he needs to look for a new job.  The woman who hasn't spoken to her sister in eighteen years is hiding from the fact that sometimes taking the higher road and offering forgiveness (even when unasked for) can be very healing.  The woman who's going from one sexually based relationship to the next without ever letting herself feel anything is hiding from the molestation in her childhood that's still haunting her.

Say yes to change.  Say yes to forgiveness.   And love.  And healing.  And truth.  And honesty.  Say yes to your dreams.  Your goals.  Your hidden visions of success.  Say yes to your life.  Say yes to you!

Mother Teresa

Just wanted to mention that today is the anniversary of Mother Teresa's death -- a wonderful, selfless and giving woman whose grace reached beyond divergent faiths and classes to unite us all in the notion of peace and service.  She devoted her entire life to helping the poorest of the poor.  And if you read her recently published journals, you'll know that she was often filled with doubt and despair but used her faith and her good works to overcome it each time.  My priest at church today spoke about using this phrase every day which I think fits Mother Teresa perfectly:  I AM THIRD.  He said we should put God first, then others, then ourselves.  How miraculous would the world be if we all followed this philosophy?

Here are some of my favorite Mother Teresa quotes:

"Prayer enlarges the heart."

"We realize that what we are accomplishing is a drop in the ocean.  But if this drop were not in the ocean, it would be missed."

"Every person is for me the only person in the world."

"We are called upon not to be successful, but to be faithful."

"Sacrifice does not cause sadness, especially when you give it up to God."

"It's not how much we give but how much we put into the giving."

"Love has to be put into action, and that action is service."

"Do ordinary things with extraordinary love."

"What I can do, you cannot.  What you can do, I cannot.  But together we can do something beautiful for God."

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."

"Death is nothing but a continuation of life.  The surrendering of the human body.  But the heart and the soul live forever.  The do not die."

"Where there is mystery, there must be faith."

"Every day some miracle happens."

"If you are humble, nothing will bother you, neither praise nor slander, because you know what you are."

"Every act of love is a work of peace, no matter how small."

Thank you Mother Teresa!

Creating Crystal Grids

Crystal grids are a fun and effective way to create and manifest with intention.  Listen to Deb Bowen and me live tonight on our radio show for more information on how to create a crystal grid to enhance your own health, career, family and love life.  Below are images of two grids in my home now.


The grid on the left is a prosperity grid made of eight green aventurine and citrine with a rose quartz in the middle.  A prosperity grid is made in the shape of an eight (for financial abundance) laid on its side (for infinity so you can continually manifest abundance).  The green aventurine brings you luck and good fortune, the citrine helps you manifest money with success and learn how to keep it.  The rose quartz in the middle helps you manifest money from love.  The grid on the right is my goal grid.  I've placed a rose quartz obelisk in the center with single terminated clear quarts in the north, south, east and west positions.  I've placed a variety of single terminated quartz between to facilitate the manifesting process.  I have labrodorite (clear vision), smokey quartz (absorbs negativity), black kyanite (to keep the goal grounded in reality), and petalite (to call on my angels for help).  The rose quartz is placed over my an affirmation card stating my goal in the present tense.

Win a Reading!

Come follow me on my blog and win a reading!  On September 30, I'm going to write down the names of all the followers, put them in a hat and select one.  The winner will receive a free thirty minute reading with Deb Bowen and I.  Become a follower of Deb Bowen at www.debbowentarotblog.blogspot.com and be entered twice!

I want this blog to be a community of people who can learn, share and communicate with others on this path.  So become a follower and leave a comment!

Atheists

I've had a few readings this week with professed atheists.  In my experience, atheists are very bright people who have a difficult time rationalizing the unrationable.  They want definable proof, but that's not the way God works.  Imagine if Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed came dancing down to Earth holding hands.  What would happen?  If you could really see Jesus, touch his wounds, talk philosophy with Buddha and discuss the crisis in the Middle East with Mohammed, what would happen?  You'd believe. But why?  God doesn't want us to believe this way -- out of knowledge, knowing and sometimes even fear.  God wants us to believe out of experience, faith and an inner desire to surrender to the mystery of all that is.


Some atheists have had a trauma or two in their life to deal with and, when their prayers went unanswered, decided the whole thing was silly and gave up.  I think it's like this:

Pretend there's a party you really want to get invited to.  You look for your invitation every day.  You plan in your head what you're going to wear.  You're consumed with excitement about this party.  And then, you're not invited.

What do  you do?  You put down the party.  "It was a stupid party.  I didn't want to go anyway.  Those people are so shallow anyway."  And on and on.

I think this is what happens to some atheists.  Life is the party and often we can feel uninvited.

All prayers are answered.  All prayers.

Sometimes the answer is no.

If you get a bunch of no's in a row, is it any wonder some people turn away from their faith?

In my experience, atheists are often very nice people who want to believe.  They just want proof.  And that is one thing they'll never get.  Faith isn't about proof; it's about belief.

I always say extra prayers for atheists, especially when they cross.  In the beginning, after we die, we see what we think we'll see.  So if you're a traditional believer and you think you'll see pearly gates, St. Peter and streets lined with gold, then that's what you'll see. If you think you'll see a meadow with flowers and your angels, then that's what you'll see.  And once you get acclimated to what's happened to you, then your guides take you to the real other side.

But, if you think that when you die, you'll see nothing, then that's what you'll see.  For a long time.

That's why I think it's important for us to pray for atheists that they will see the light -- now and always.

Pressed With Love

I find it difficult to remember the details of my readings.  They seem to pass through me like water going through a sieve.  But some readings stand out for a variety of reasons and stay with me.  I was blessed recently with a very memorable reading.  A young woman came to see me who'd recently lost her father.  The intensity of his emotion overwhelmed me, and I found myself tearing up with his love for his daughter.  This has only happened to me two other times, and I remember those readings vividly as well.

The only way I can explain it is like this:  it feels as though the loved one on the other side takes all his love for the person sitting in front of me and energetically forms it into a ball.  Then they take that ball and press it into my heart chakra.  I can literally feel this.  I can feel this warm, wonderfully energy pressing through my back and going into my heart.  It's an amazing feeling, and it always overwhelms me.

I don't like crying in front of people.  I'm a messy crier.  It effects my voice, my throat tightens, my mascara runs.  And so when this does happen to me, this pressing thing, I feel three things:  overwhelmed with love, embarrassed to be crying in front of a client, and worried that I'm not being the unbiased vessel a medium needs to be.  But, really, the tears aren't coming from me.  They come directly from the loved one who feels so excited to be getting a message across.

I think that this happens rarely because it takes so much energy.  It took a lot for that father to gather up that energy, and he could only pass messages for about ten minutes after that.  This lovely father misses his family almost as much as they miss him.  The only difference is that he can see them, check in on them and let them know in subtle ways that he's still there watching over them.  But, still, he made it very clear that he misses them a lot.

This bugged me for some time afterward.  Is he happy over there?  How can they miss us that much and still be progressing forward like they need to?  So later that night, I meditated and asked my guide.  He said that being in heaven is like being on vacation.  You're having a great time.  It's exciting and fun, carefree and liberating.  But you think of your family, you call them, send them postcards that say, "Wish you were here."  You miss them -- sometimes a lot -- but you're having a wonderful time.  And that's what this amazing dad showed me.  He was with his family members who'd crossed and his three dogs.  He was having a good time reuniting with all of them, and he really enjoyed spending time with his granddaughter before she was born and loves watching over his loving family here on Earth.

I debated a lot before posting on this.  I don't want anyone reading this to think that our loved ones over there are missing us and feeling homesick.  It's quite the opposite.  I just want everyone who's lost a loved one to know that they're still with you, checking in on you, and missing you too.  The only difference is that they get to see us.

My friend lost a loved one recently and she said to me, "I wish I could see him.  Just for a moment.  Wouldn't it be great if he could just pop into my room for five seconds to say, 'I made it.  I'm okay.  Love you. Miss you.' I'd even settle for a postcard," she lamented.

I know how she feels.  Death is such a final thing.  Even if you believe as strongly as you all reading this do that there is life on the other side, it's still so very difficult to deal with the finality -- the knowledge that on this earth, for the time you're here, you won't see them.  That's hard.  I think that's what that dad was trying to express to me.  He knew how much his family missed him.  And all he wanted them to know was how much he loved, loved, loved them and missed them too.  I think the whole "pressing" thing I felt was his desire for them to know this.  Maybe, for that day, that one moment, I was the postcard letting them know "I made it.  I'm okay.  Love you.  Miss you."

Love the One You're With

Thought I'd share with you all another of my favorite poems.  The author is anonymous:


When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and see what that man has to say,
For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Who judgement upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people may think you a straight shootin chum
And call you a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest, 
for he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test,
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated The Man in the Glass.

Things that Go Bump in the Night

This morning my four-year-old daughter told me that she was awoken last night and came hurrying down the hall to our bedroom.  She saw my husband and me sleeping, and then she saw the adjoining bathroom door open on its own and heard a male voice say, "Good job."

I didn't know what to make of this.  It sounded spooky and she was a bit scared by it and wanted to know who it was.  I told her it was probably her guardian angel telling her she was doing a good job.

Our home is often active at night.  After our dog passed away, my daughters all told stories of seeing her prancing through their bedroom.  One daughter has complained three times of seeing a witch with a green face.  When she saw The Wizard of Oz for the first time this spring, she sprang to her feet when she saw the wicked witch with the green face and said, "I am strong and I will fight you!"  Since then, she hasn't complained of seeing the woman with the green face.  Another daughter said she saw her angel in her bedroom one night.  She described him as being hugely tall. "His head hit the ceiling."  She said he had tanned, dark skin and bright white wings and that he told her his name was Odin.  About six months after my mother-in-law passed, my oldest said, "I love seeing nana at night, but she keeps waking me up."

I want to make it clear that my children do not know what I do for a living.  They know me as a teacher and nothing more.  I never discuss any of this paranormal "stuff" in front of them.  Still, it's there.

I'm sure many of you reading this -- with or without kids -- have had similar experiences at night.  Paranormal State -- one of my favorite shows -- calls the hours between midnight and 3 am dead time.  Others call 3:00 am the witching hour.  It's believed that the night is when the veil between the words is more flexible.  I've read some "scientific" explanations for this -- something about electromagnetic something or other -- but I believe we are more apt to have paranormal experiences at night because it's the only time in our day that there's silence, that we're slowed down, and let's face it -- we all feel vulnerable when we sleep.  How many of you like sleeping with your toes peeking out of the sheets?

So what can we do about it?  Well, that depends.  When I was growing up, I don't think I ever once slept through the night.  I would barricade myself with stuffed animals, I'd beg and plead to keep a light on and, when I got to high school, I was finally allowed to have a TV in my room.  I'd sleep with it on and was rarely disturbed.  If your child is frequently woken up, let him or her sleep with a light on -- maybe one in the hallway.  Make a dreamcatcher with them and explain that this will catch all the bad dreams.  Buy them a set of worry dolls and help them to release their day and let go of their worries.  Make "monster spray"  by pouring holy water or spring water into a spray bottle and adding sage and other essential oils.  Let your child spray under the bed and in the closet before going to sleep.  Get into the habit of saying nightly prayers with your child.  All of this will remind your child that he has control, that she can discourage anything from coming to her at night.

And if you're older and still being woken up?  Imagine a huge lightbulb over your head and picture yourself "turning down your light."  Sleep with a crystal by your bed.  Some believe that if you sleep with a glass of water on your bedside table it will catch negative energies.  Ask your angels to protect you from being woken up and to ensure for you a good night's sleep.

What I believe that many lost souls wander at night.  If it's true that souls are given three days after they die before they have to cross, and if you think about all the people who die throughout the world each day, is it any wonder we aren't sleeping at night?

Let me explain.  Those of us who are highly intuitive -- whether we know it or not or are open to it or not -- have a light around us that's much brighter than others'.  Confused, newly crossed souls and earth bounds are attracted to that light like a moth to a flame.  They instinctively know that the light will set them free.  So they come towards it.  All you have to do is either consciously dim your light down or deal with an entourage in your room every night.  Not fun.  Have you ever watched Lisa Williams' show Life Among the Dead?  In between readings, she wears a hat to symbolically dim her light and let the spirit world know that she's off duty.

Try these tips tonight and hopefully you will sleep well!

I do? Marriage Survival Skills

I've mentioned before how my readings tend to come in themes.  This week, almost all my readings dealt with people in struggling marriages.  And even though I am by far an expert on marriage, I thought I'd at least toss in my two cents.  I've been married over thirteen years.  We've made it successfully through many ups and downs.  One thing has sustained us -- a common life goal.  My husband and I have always wanted the same things out of life.  We don't see eye-to-eye on much.  He's outdoorsy and thinks a day on a boat, a bike or a golf course tops anything.  Give me a good book, lunch with a good friend and a tea party thrown by my daughters, and I'm in heaven.  One time, I did go golfing with him and between rounds I read my book in the golf cart.  I was never asked to join him on the links again!
When we got married, he vowed to read a book, and I vowed to learn how to scuba dive.  He did read a book.  Count that -- one book.  And I did get my scuba diving license. But we've always wanted the same things out of life -- a successful marriage and a happy family.

I told him from day one that I would leave him in a New York minute if he broke what I call my 4 A's:

1) Adultery
2) Abuse -- mental or physical
3) Addiction
4) Abandonment -- emotional

To be honest, I added the fourth A after we were married and I noticed that he thought nothing of spending all his free time on the golf course or fishing with his friends.  He agreed to two days a month and I learned the first key ingredient to a successful marriage -- compromise!

In my practice I see clients all the time who are dealing with one of the four A's and it's not easy.  But what I've been seeing more of lately are people unsatisfied in their relationships just because.  There's no messy affair, no addiction, no abuse going on -- just a soft, unspoken malaise that settles in uninvited.

Harville Hendrix who wrote Getting the Love You Want talks about this type of marriage in his bestselling book.  He said when couples fall in love, they are flooded with endorphins. They are literally high on love -- unable to see any flaws or negativity.  Hendrix believes we expect our new partner to (gag, throw up) "complete us" like some cheesy line from that horrible Jerry Maguire movie.  No one can complete us . . . what does that really mean anyway? We have to find our happiness ourselves and look to our partner only for intimacy, support and a shared life.

Then he says the drugs wear off and the power struggle begins.  This happens, he says, in every marriage.  We engage in power struggles over everything -- big things like money, careers and raising children and small things like setting the AC too high or leaving dirty towels on the floor.

After the power struggle sets in, couples engage in one of three options:

OPTION 1:  The Hot Marriage.  These are the couples who fight all the time and then make up.  They're addicted to the fighting as much as they are to the euphoric make up scene and temporary honeymoon period that sets in until the next fight.  Word of advice:  If you have a friend in a hot marriage, don't say anything bad about her husband.  She may hate him now, but trust me in two days they'll be back in love  but she'll remember your words.  I had to learn this the hard way with a few friends of mine.

OPTION 2: The Parallel Marriage.  This is when both couples agree not to divorce but they also make no effort to change their communication styles.  I call this type of marriage The Roomate Marriage -- two people who live together, share custody of the kids but don't engage in any real relationship.  These people will look to their job, their church, friends and sometimes to an affair to get their needs met.

OPTION 3: Divorce.  A tough choice.  Divorce isn't easy on anyone.  Check out this fascinating book:  THE LEGACY OF DIVORCE: A 25 YEAR LANDMARK STUDY by Judith Wallerstein.  She studied children of divorce for 25 years and her research offers stunning insights into this painful option.

Hendrix offers a fourth option: THE HEALED MARRIAGE.  In this option, he says couples need to learn to LISTEN to each other.  Most couples are so busy trying to prove their point, they don't listen to the other spouse.  My husband and I have to be ever vigilant not to fall into this trap, but we're both learning the value of listening.  For example, I have this special calling to work with women in prisons.  God keeps calling me to this in amazing ways.  I want to teach these women that they are valuable, loved and loving.  I want to teach them manifesting, forgiveness, and goal setting skills.  But my husband is adamantly against this.  I assumed it was because he was a police officer and had a jaded view.  We fought and fought until I finally took the time to listen to him.  His concern?  That I didn't have the time needed to devote myself to this project with three young children at home.  And you know what?  He's right.  So we compromised.  When my youngest is in school full time, I will volunteer one morning a week at our local woman's prison.

Hendrix also says couples need to EMPATHIZE with each other.  I think this one is particularly hard on men who love to fix things.  If I come home and complain about something mean a student said to me, my husband will tell me what I should have said.  It's taken 13 years, but he's finally learning to just listen and say, "Wow, that's terrible. I'm so sorry.  Let me make you a hot fudge sundae and I'll draw you a hot bubble bath." Okay, I'm exaggerating, but a girl can dream.  When our spouse comes home from a hard day, just listen.  Empathize.  Don't try to fix the problem and certainly don't offer any form of criticism.

His next strategy is VALIDATION.  We're all craving validation and we need it  most from our spouses.  Show your spouse in large and small ways that you approve of his looks, her career, his choices, her body, his friends.  It took my husband some time to come around to my intuitive abilities.  As a cop, he needs proof and evidence, not crystals and tarot cards.  As a devout Catholic, he was dubious to say the least of my decision to come out of the psychic closet.  So it meant the world to me one night a few years ago when we had a couple over for dinner.  The wife was discussing a problem with which she couldn't see a solution.  When I got up from the table to clear the plates, I heard her say, "I wish I knew a really good psychic who could just tell me what to do."  I laughed to myself because she had no idea then what I did for a living.  I almost dropped the plates when I heard my husband say, "Well, you're in luck because the best psychic in the world is standing right in that kitchen."  Since then, he's bragged about me to anyone who will listen.  It still warms my heart all these years later to think back on that night.

Hendrix believes healed marriages also need to show APPRECIATION.  Plan a surprise date night.  Buy your spouse a thoughtful gift just because.  Get home early from work one night to cook their favorite meal.  Initiate intimacy.  Say thank you.  And say it often.  "Thank you for that great meal."  "Thanks for taking the kids to the park so I could get my work finished."  "Thanks for vacuuming."  "Thank you for cleaning the toilets every day."  That's one I'm still waiting to hear!

He talks a lot about how to build intimacy in a marriage and says couples need two things to foster this important feeling:  they need to feel safe, and they need to feel supported.

Marriage is hard.  Period.  That's why all the fairy tales end at the vows because it's after the I Do's that things get tricky.  But marriage is a beautiful institution and one of the few mainstays that survives centuries and cultures of change.  Marriage might be hard, but in my experience, anything worthwhile take a lot of work and effort to achieve.  We don't have any good examples of marriage in our lives.  TV shows mock marriage with shows like Married with Children, The Simpsons and Everybody Loves Raymond where the man is made out to be a stupid idiot and the wife a nagging *itch.  In movies, marriages are often so happy, it's ridiculously unbelievable.  Or they're horrible tragedies.  But the in between, the mundane day to day work of making marriages successful is rarely explored. Our celebrities make a mockery of marriage too as they hop from one relationship to another.

So if you're dealing with a blah marriage, and not one of the four A's, I'd recommend checking out Hendrix's book or website www.gettingtheloveyouwant.com.

But if you are going through a divorce, know that your loved ones on the other side are with you -- offering you their love and support.  Call on them for help to stay strong.  Sometimes divorce is part of our soul's plan.  Often it just means we've finished our karma with that person.  Don't judge yourself and give yourself time to heal.  I always tell my clients that divorce is very much like a death and needs to be grieved similarly.  So be gentle with yourself as you embark on that journey.

The most important thing -- whether you're in an relationship or not -- is to work on making yourself happy.  We should never look to anyone else to "complete" us or make us feel fulfilled.  What pressure!  We should be able to happily engage ourselves in meaningful projects, hobby and work without needing someone else's input.  Love yourself and true love will always be yours.

Calling All Lightworkers

I spoke tonight on the PsychicTeachers radio show about a wonderful man I met this morning at church.  We had a visiting priest speak to us about his ministry.  He'd started churches in Mexico and Honduras, but when he was asked to do the same in Haiti, he was dismayed by what he found there.  The orphanage was crowded with children in need of medical help.  But when Father Rick asked members of the medical community to assist him repeatedly and received no help, he went back to America and earned his medical degree.  Now he could serve the people of Haiti as a priest and a doctor.  He built a pediatric hospital in Haiti only to see it destroyed a decade later in the earthquake.   He talked about how his only goal is to be a  light for the world -- to let God's light shine through him.  He called on us to light the world around us as well.  And so I'd like to ask you, dear blog readers, to take on the challenge as well.

This week, how can you be a lightworker to those around you?  Could you bring a meal to a new mom?  Or drive an elderly neighbor to the grocery store? Maybe you could drop off some pet food at the local shelter.  Or extend an apology to a family member.  Maybe you will feel ready to forgive a friend who hurt you.  Whatever you choose to do, please share it here and inspire others.  Help us to light the world one person at a time.

Do All Dogs Go to Heaven?

In a Sunday school class when I was nine, a teacher told us that pets don't go to heaven because they don't have souls.  This devastated me, and I always believed it to be false.  In my twenties when I learned to see auras, I started to see a glow of white light around animals and insects.  This was my proof that we all are created from the same light source -- all of us, even spiders and cockroaches.  Then when I began doing readings, I would see pets with the loved ones who came through to bring messages.  I've seen people with dogs, cats, rabbits, ferrets, and horses.

I had a lovely reading with a client recently where his dog came through and thanked him for his assistance in helping him pass on.  The dog even mentioned the date of his passing.

Another time, a dog came through to thank my client for rescuing him and encouraged her to rescue another dog when she was ready.

So do all dogs go to heaven?  Yes. And cats and fish and horses too.  All of us are created in our creator's image and share in that light source.  

Messages From Loved Ones

It's been a bit longer than usual since I posted, and that's just because I had a super busy week of readings.  I'm now firmly established in my new office at Harmony Yoga as seen here.  I need to take a picture of my office upstairs and post it here too.  Anyway, I had the opportunity this week to meet almost two dozen new clients and connect them to their loved ones on the other side.  And through all these readings, I noticed most of them had the same messages to pass on.  I'm going to share the general ones here, and I'd love for any readers to share their comments about why they think these messages came through again and again.  Okay, so here they are in order of frequency:

1) I love you
2) I'm happy here
3) Please call (fill in the blank with your relative with whom you've lost contact)
4) Don't forget your roots
5) Reconnect with your church, temple, synagogue -- place of worship (this one came up seven times this week, and it was never a nagging message but more of a, "hey, I see you're feeling a little lonely and disconnected.  Go to this community and reconnect.)
6) Thank you
7) All of this over here on the other side is real.  Trust it.

I thought of all these messages as I sat in church this morning.  It was lovely as always to see our friends in church.  I love to see my daughters sit patiently through the hour -- sometimes coloring, sometimes flipping through a book, but often listening earnestly and singing along.  The message that day was based on one of my favorite verses, Mathew 7:7.  "Ask and it will be given you.  Seek and you will find.  Knock and the door will be opened for you."  Our priest talked about asking for what we need, seeking what we need rather than what we want.  And I thought to myself, "Yeah, those lovely souls on the other side are right.  We do need connections to our community.  We do need to keep our connections with family.  We do need to keep in touch with our roots.  And we need to trust that our loved ones are happy and well and watching out for us."  It all is very real.

The Key to Happiness

So many of my readings focus on people who are unhappy -- with their jobs, spouses, family, friends, life choices.  And often what I see for them is that these situations aren't changing.  Sometimes I see positive changes coming to people, but more often than not I see them in that same situation for a bit longer than they want until a certain life lesson is learned.  But, there is a way to sustain happiness even through these moments of stagnation, regret and disappointment.

Do you want to know the secret to fulfillment and happiness?

Get the spotlight off yourself and focus it on someone else.  Service.  Giving.  It's the only way to true joy.

Every day try to do something for someone else -- try to give back in little and big ways.  Call a friend and just listen.  Don't interject your opinion, your own story, your problems.  Just listen.  Drop a box of chocolates or a plant to someone who helped you in some way.  Send an anonymous angel card to a random person in the phone book.  When you're making dinner one night this week, double the recipe and give it to a friend who's busy. Pick out a funny card at the card store and send it to your sister just because.  Go to the grocery store and buy everything that says Buy One Get One Free and donate the "free" items to your local food shelter.  When you're meditating or saying your prayers, focus on sending light and love to someone else -- not yourself.

I did a reading a few weeks ago for a woman who wanted to know when she was going to fall in love.  Her dad came through with a lot of good validations, a few funny jokes about memories they shared and lots of love.  This woman said, "Yep, that's him.  So do you see a man coming into my life before the summer ends?"  I was shocked and a bit appalled that this woman's father had gone through so much effort and energy to communicate with her and all she cared about was her new love interest.  What has happened to us that we've gotten so off track in our lives that we can't see the truly important things anymore?  Another man came to me for a reading not too long ago wanting to know when he was going to die.  He was unhappy in his marriage, his job was boring and his children didn't appreciate him, so he was ready to pack it in and move on to other realms.  Really?  Let's talk to a terminal patient and see if he'd like to change places.

Focusing only on ourselves, our happiness, our wants, is the surest way to sadness, disappointment and depression.

This life we're living isn't about us -- it's about serving our higher power by serving others.  Our only job is to see God in everyone we meet and treat them as such.  Whether or not we're happy is superfluous.