Tuesday, March 9, 2010


I learn from every reading I do, and some leave me with more questions than answers. While trying to connect with a client's loved ones, I kept seeing the letter G and feeling, I don't know, different. I didn't feel loving or emotional or, well, anything. Normally, when a loved one is trying to come through, I'll feel their energy. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's like they press their emotions on me. Sometimes I'll feel apologetic and then I'll know a loved one is trying to say he or she is sorry. Other times, I'll feel teary with love or happy with anticipation. But this time, I felt someone there but it was an empty feeling. A nothingness. So I called on my guides and asked them to help me make sense of this. I saw a man being dragged into my mind's eye by two tall men. He was shackled and they were carrying him under his arms, dragging him into view. He looked at me, and his eyes were empty.

I still didn't know what to make of this. I said to the client, "Do you have a loved one on the other side whose name starts with the letter G?" She thought a moment before saying no, she did not.

I tried to talk to the reluctant spirit again, but all I felt this time was fear and uneasiness.

So I said to my client, "There's someone here who needs to apologize to you, but he's afraid."

She just looked at me blankly. "I have no idea who that could be. Can you get anything else?"

So I tried again, closing my eyes and pushing my energy out towards this man and when his message hit me, I popped my eyes open in shock. Sometimes, my job can be very hard, and I have to be very careful as to how I word these messages.

"I'm sensing a violation."

"A what?"

"Did someone break boundaries with you when you were younger, in your late teens?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Were you ever raped?"

"No," she said.

Now this was getting tricky. Maybe this message was meant for my next client. I couldn't be sure. Either way, this poor woman was quickly losing her patience with me.

"Okay, I'm sensing a man whose name starts with the letter G like Gary, George, Gene who needs to apologize for hurting you or someone close to you. But he's very reluctant to do so."

"Oh my," she said. "My sister was raped by a man named Garth. But that was years ago, more than thirty years. I didn't even know he'd died."

I sat back as relief flooded my body. The reluctant spirit got his message across, my client had an important message to pass on to her sister, but I was left with questions. Why was he being made to apologize? Did he want to and then backed out at the last minute? And why did he appear in shackles? Was he really handcuffed or did my guides just show him to me that way so I'd know I was dealing with a criminal element? Was passing on this apology something he needed to do to facilitate his own growth? Probably, but is an apology meaningful if it's not from the heart? In order for forgiveness to be fully granted, doesn't the perpetrator have to feel sincerely sorry?

Many times after passing on special messages in a reading, later that night, I'll hear the spirit whisper "Thank you" in my ear. It's always a lovely sentiment. But after this reading? Nothing.

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