Saturday, December 17, 2011

Letting Go Of Life -- Helping Our Elderly Loved Ones Transition

I've said before that my readings tend to lump together in themes.  I'll have a month of clients going through divorces.  And then another month of clients enduring job loss and layoffs.  For the past two months, I've dealt with clients who are care taking a parent.  The stress and emotional turmoil this care has on the son/daughter and his/her family is overwhelming.  I keep encountering adult children who have met their limit and yet because of love, guilt and a desire to be a good child, they keep on keeping on. My clients are dealing with parents who have many needs.  They are in assisted care facilities or living with their adult children and requiring round the clock care.  Some of my clients have parents who need more assistance and are refusing that help insisting that they only want their children's help.

I did a reading recently for a woman whose mom had several health problems and had been home bound for the last nine years.  My client was worn out from taking care of her mom.  She had put off dating after divorce and hasn't been on a vacation in almost a decade. When I asked her guides why the mom was still here on this earth when she clearly had no quality of life, they told me that her soul had contracted to leave earth when she was 83.

"How old is your mom?" I asked my client.


Her guides said that her mom was staying longer than she was supposed to because she liked being taken care of.  She felt as though she'd earned it and wasn't budging.  When I relayed this to my client, she said, "Well, that makes sense.  My mom had to take care of her little brother when their mom died and then she took care of dad through years of MS.  I guess she feels it's her turn."

I did a reading for another client whose mom just got more and more belligerent as the years passed.  When I tuned into her energy, I sensed years of resentment built up because she'd spent her life taking care of others and not herself.  She'd abandoned her nursing career and hopes of becoming a doctor to raise a family and subconsciously resented her family because of that.  Now she spends her days insisting that her children drive her to her appointments, pay her bills and literally handle all aspects of her life.

It's a terrible way to live for everyone involved.

I've heard similar messages to that over and over -- parents who feel as though they've earned the right to be taken care of even though it's at the expense of their children's time, money and emotional stability.  Many of these parents are stubbornly refusing outside help and insisting that only their children can help them.

If you're dealing with this, please know that you're not alone and that you're going to need help.  If your parent(s) won't let you hire help, then you can get help through counseling, reaching out to friends and scheduling lots of breaks for yourself.

Some of the parents I tune into are simply afraid to die, and so they're desperately clinging on even though their quality of life is severely lacking.  One grandfather came through in a reading recently and said, "I was afraid to live and I was afraid to die.  Tell my granddaughter not to make the same mistakes."  Then he showed me PSALM 118:24.  When I looked it up in the bible, I took in a breath as I read:  "This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it."  What a perfect message to bring back from heaven, I thought.  This day, this one day, is all that is guaranteed to us.  We can't worry about the future or regret the past.  We have to just rejoice in the present and see it for the gift it is.

If you find that you have a parent or loved one who is afraid of dying, try praying with them to remind them of their link to spirit.  Give them or read to them books that affirm the beauty of life in all its forms. Some I would recommend include:

Life After Life and Glimpses of Eternity by Raymond Moody

Visions, Trips and Crowded Rooms by David Kessler

Glimpses of Heaven by Trudy Harris

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