Thursday, December 22, 2011

Do We Choose When We Die?

This past July I had a very vivid dream where I woke up, walked into my kitchen and saw my aunt (still alive) and my mother-in-law (already transitioned) standing in my kitchen.  I hugged both of them and marveled at how beautiful and young my mother-in-law looked.  She looked at me just as excitedly and said, "Your aunt has wonderful news for us.  She's decided."  I remember feeling very happy and hugging my aunt.  She looked relieved but a bit scared too.  I stared into her eyes and said, "Are you sure?" She nodded.  I hugged her again and said, "This is the best decision you can make for your family and you're very brave.  When will you transition?"  She said, "In the next five to seven months."

When I woke up, I told my husband and he said, "No way.  She's only 61 and is in perfect health."

I agreed with him and hoped my dream was wrong.  My aunt had just welcomed her third grandchild and had just retired from a long and tiring career as a nurse.  But two weeks later, we learned that my aunt was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  She passed away this week, exactly five months after I had that dream.  It's left me with more questions than answers.  Do we really know when we're going to die?  Do we really have any say in it?  And if you could choose the date of your passing, why would you pick a few days before Christmas?  And how could any of this be the right decision for her family?

I have no answers for these questions -- only more questions.  But after the meditations I've been doing regarding my clients dealing with their elderly parents coupled with this experience, I am starting to wonder if we do have some say in our passing.  I got the feeling that my aunt was strongly advised to die when she did and that if she hadn't her illness would have been a huge burden on the family.  Could it be true?

When my husband was a police officer, I worried about him a lot.  He would always say to me, "You have nothing to worry about. I'll fight my way back from heaven.  I'll will myself to live."  He said this with such conviction that I almost believed him.  And years later, he proved this to be true.  No one, not one doctor, believed he'd survive the shooting.  And he faced one catastrophe after another in the hospital from complications with the tubes to pneumonia.  But he fought every one and came back to his family.

So, I don't know, maybe we do have some say.  This thought goes against everything I've ever been taught by my faith, and I'm going to have to sit with it for some time or just surrender it to one of the mysteries of life.


  1. Powerful. Thank you so much for sharing. Makes me think of the recent transitioning of Jerry Hicks (not in terms of the situation) but the whole idea of choice and transitioning etc.

    Positive thoughts, prayers, and light for you and your family.

  2. Samantha, I've also had these types of dreams. I've recently started listening to your podcasts, can't get through them fast enough. When the student is ready, the teachers appear.
    I listened to your dream and premonition show first because of my many years of prophetic dreams. I noticed you spoke of the strong feeling of happiness in your dream, that's how I know which of my dreams are prophetic. I actually warned my family of a possible death and shared my dream and helped save my nephew's young life.
    It's great to find others who share so many gifts in common. Judith Light has a great book, about her prophetic dreams

  3. I certainly have seen how much the power of your will affects a person's battle with cancer or other tough illnesses. My dad never gave up or considered death. And he is still here. Not all the fighters make it, but those who give up the will to live generally die soon after. My great grandfather refused to die in the hospital- he was on his deathbed for 2 weeks until they finally released him. He died in his sleep that night- in his own bed.

    I don't know if those are just the outward signs of a journey we already chose or if they really are the signs that we, at least in some way, choose to stay or go. Maybe sometimes our higher self chose that we'd have some say in the end and sometimes we opted to just be gone when the time was up without a say. It's certainly a fascinating question to ponder. And especially after such a dream.

  4. Nine years ago, my Grandfather and Aunt (who was only 39) were both dying of long-term illnesses on the same night. My grandfather passed away that night and my Aunt died 3 months later, a few days before Christmas.

    I truly believe that my Grandfather made the decision to go before her so that he could help to welcome her when she went home. He was her Father and she had a husband and three children to fight for.

    She came to me in a dream the night before she died. She told me that she was afraid to go because of her daughter Ashley. I told her not to worry and that we would take care of her. When my Mother called the next morning, I knew that my Aunt had passed away.

    We may never know why people choose to go when they do. My family members tend to pass away around the holidays. For example, my Grandmother just passed away this Thanksgiving. I like to approach this with a sense of warped humor rather than sadness, believing that this is their way to say, "You will remember me on the Holidays whether you like it or not!" :-)

  5. I know its weird to hear someone say they dreamed they died. I have died in my dreams afew times. One I died and rose up through a abyss of darkness then seen the clouds and beautiful sun shining over as if i were as high as an airplane and I heard angelic sounds and I started to cry uncontrollably and I said he accepted me after all I done? And they said yes, and I looked down a lil bit and seen Jesus and he said he loved me, then I went back down to my body and said this must be what hell is like..... I have seen Jesus in my dreams at least 2 times in my life, and remember a few times of nearly dying and dying.....

  6. Sam Kinison's (actor/comedian) mom had a dream a week before he died in April, 1992. It's mentioned in the book "Brother Sam" by Bill Kinison who was Sam's brother and manager. A week before Sam died, Sam's/Bill's mom had a dream where her deceased second husband told her that Sam's time was up and for him to put his affairs in order. She was baffled, but he didn't say anything when told. His brother in the book and in later interviews (along with his best friend) mentioned how Sam seem distant at times, and not to interested in recent stuff like closing of a new film deal, as if he "knew" something was going to happen. He married his long time girlfriend, Malika, went on their Honymoon, came back early. About a day later while driving to do a weekend comedy show in Nevada he was in a head on collision with a 17 year old drunk driver that crossed the center divider. Sam's brother, and best friend, and someone else following behind them in a second car witnessed Sam stumble out of the car saying "I don't want to die" and "Why now?" "I don't want to die" than he fell into his best friends arms and was looking out into the distance saying "Buy why...why now?" like he was fighting someone on going with them and leaving and then he paused and said "Okay, Okay" followed by a very peaceful, loving, and submitting final "Okay" and let go and died. His friend Carol LaBove who Sam died in his arms, talks about this a lot. Sam Kinison wasn't a G rated comic either...he was satire and very R rated and controversial so his friend would say to hear him talk in such a way, addressing someone in the distance that no one else saw, can only mean he was talking to someone on the other side.

  7. Meant to say Carl LaBove not Carol LaBove