Crystal of the Week: Heart Chakra Grid

Since on tonight's PsychicTeacher show, we're discussing crystal grids I thought it would be appropriate to discuss how to set up a heart chakra grid.  This is something you want to set up if you're looking to manifest love, heal a broken heart or work on forgiveness.

In a nutshell, you set the crystals up in a heart shape around a center crystal that should be bigger than the other crystals.  Ideally, you should use a pyramid, obelisk or heart shaped stone.  Under this center stone, place an affirmation for what heart chakra issue you're working on. Put the grid in a place where you'll see it every day.  Each day, pray over your grid.  Imagine the love, healing and forgiveness coming to you as you pray.  As you visualize, so you believe and as you believe, so you conceive.  Have faith in these little stones.  They will work hard for you, but you have to work hard too!
ASK, BELIEVE, CONCEIVE!





If you'd like to MANIFEST LOVE, use a variety of the following stones:

Green Aventurine
Rose Quartz
Garnet
Rhodocrosite
Sugilite
Pink Chalcedony
Citrine
Amethyst
Garnet
Jade
Amazonite
Watermelon Tourmaline

Affirmations to MANIFEST LOVE:

I attract healthy, happy love to me now.
I am attracting the right person to me now.
I love myself and I attract perfect love to me now.
My partner is the love of my life and we love, adore, support and respect each other.
My marriage is happy, healthy and harmonious.
I deserve love, romance and joy and all the blessings that life has to iffer
I radiate pure, unconditional love and attract that to me now.
I am in a joyful, healthy and a happy relationship with a person who loves me unconditionally and I reflect that perfect love back to them.

TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART:

Select a few stones from this list for your grid:

Malachite
Green Aventurine
Amazonite
Rose Quartz
Rhodinite
Pink Tourmaline
Sugilite
Unakite

Affirmations to help your HEART HEAL:

I deserve perfect love now.
I release past pain and open my heart to trust, forgive and embrace new beginnings.
I embrace the lessons learned from this relationship and am now ready to release the pain and keep the lessons.
I forgive myself and                        and release any and all cords of energy between us leaving only peace, forgiveness and mutual respect.
I am free to forgive, free to love and free to release any and all pain now.
My relationships are helping me to heal and love myself.
All difficulties between                                and me are healed now for our highest good.
I am filled with light and love at all times.

TO FORGIVE:

Rhodonite
Rhodocrosite
Botswana Agate
Unakite
Pink Chalcedony
Ruby in Zoisite
Apache Tear
Chrysocolla
Lepidolite
Sugilite
Rose Quartz

Affirmations for FORGIVENESS:

I forgive myself and allow my heart to heal.
I forgive myself and release my past to its highest, healing good.
I forgive my family and send them love and compassion.
God loves and forgives me, and I love and forgive me.
I set my past free and embrace this new day.
I forgive you completely and freely. I forgive you and let you go wishing only the best for you and your highest healing good.

How To Connect With Your Spirit Guide

"How can I connect with my spirit guide?"  If only I had a dollar for every time I'm asked that question.  The short answer is one you're probably not going to like to hear -- you already are.  Our spirit guide is with us from before we take our first breath until well after we take our last one.  We communicate with them in subtle ways every day.

Before we're born, we create a life plan for our soul growth.  We include in it all the people we need to work out karma with, all the triumphs and tragedies we need to experience to learn our life lessons, and all the people and events are put in place for us to teach and share our own gifts and talents.  Our main spirit guide, our life guide,  has a copy of this life plan at all times.  When we veer off path, we'll know it.  Our spirit guide will make sure of that. We'll feel lonely, isolated, disconnected.  We'll have a lot of second doubts and nothing, and I mean nothing, will go our way.  For example, I've rarely met a divorced person who didn't feel a strong pull to not get married on their wedding day.  That's their spirit guide talking to them.  We humans are really good at ignoring these subtle signs.  We'll choose to drink or eat too much or take drugs or hide behind work, stress and self-created drama to avoid looking at the plain truth -- we've gone off path.

When we're on our path, we'll know it too.  For one thing, things will go smoothly, we'll feel connected and even if times are hard, we'll have a solid sense of faith inside us to act as a compass through a difficult but necessary time.  Sometimes, we're on our right path even when we're experiencing the darkest times.  How can you know the difference?  It's a feeling, an inner knowing.  It's truth.  If you're lying to yourself, you're off your path.  Period.

Our spirit guide will speak to us through inner nudgings, ideas, inspired thoughts, repetitive messages that just pop into our head such as "call so and so" or "talk to this person."  Their language is one of synchronicity and coincidence.  Follow the signs and you'll receive your guide's presence more strongly each day.  Remain open, ask for help and keep seeking truth.

In order to more directly communicate with your guide, practice meditation.  Take 10 minutes a day to sit in silence and allow yourself to just be.  Any thoughts that come into your mind, attach a balloon to them and visualize them flying away.  If this is too difficult for you, try a guided meditation.  I have a CD called Meet Your Spirit Guide that uses a guided meditation to help you meet your guide.

Ask and you shall receive.  Ask for a deeper connection with your guide.  But, and here's the tricky part, let go of any expectation.  Put out the request and then "walk away."  The more we want something, the stronger we repel it.

Take some time each week to sit in nature.  Take a walk in the park or on the beach or sit in your back yard and talk to your guide.  This will create an energetic path which your guide can use to teach you how to effectively communicate with him or her in the future.

Pick a sign and ask your guide to show this to you.  Our guides and loved ones are allowed to communicate with us through:

1) Nature
2) Music
3) Electricity
4) Metal

So some easy signs to choose from would be a red bird, a dragonfly, a bee, a particular song, a penny or a dime.  State the sign and then set a deadline. For example, "Please show me a purple flower by Friday."  And then be open to seeing a purple flower in real life, or in a card someone mails to you or on a display sign at a store.  I'll give you some examples I've heard from clients.  One of my clients left my office and asked her guide to show her a turtle.  She drove to meet one of her clients and the street the woman lived on was called Turtle Hall.  After that meeting, she stopped at Starbucks and noticed an article in the newspaper on an upcoming turtle release.  Then she drove to meet her next client and in front of the building was a water fountain with a turtle in the middle.

Another client asked to see a frog and that weekend when she was out for her morning run, she tripped over a frog -- a real, live frog.  Then someone gave her son a stuffed frog as a birthday present the next week and later that week when she was flipping channels, she came across three shows on frogs.  Three.  What are the odds of that?

Communicating with your guide this way builds a strong relationship and can make following your life path a bit simpler.  Let's say your sign for your guide is a yellow flower.  You're trying to decide between two jobs and the decision is difficult because they're both good jobs.  So you ask your guide to show you a yellow flower at the site of the right job for you.  When you drive to the interview for the second job, the interviewer has yellow tulips on her desk.  Voila!  Your guide has answered your question and helped you stay on path.

It's not a question of how you communicate with your spirit guide as much as it is that you communicate with  your guide.  Put the intention out there, don't push it too much, be patient and soon you'll be on your way to "remembering" your guide and building a wonderful relationship.

Why I Love Reiki

I'm teaching a Reiki I course on February 3, and I received an email from someone who said, "I think I want to take your Reiki class, but I'm not sure.  What will Reiki do for me?"

Reiki has changed my life.  Literally.  It's opened my eyes to the mystery of healing, of energy, of divine assistance.  Back in 2004, I had no idea what Reiki was -- couldn't even pronounce it.  Then one day, I was at a crystal show with my dad and this woman walked up to me and said, "I am sorry to bother you, but my guides keep telling me that you need to learn Reiki."  I had no idea what she was talking about and so she explained that it's a form of hands on healing.  I still didn't understand but because this woman wasn't even a Reiki teacher herself and wasn't trying to sell me anything, I knew her motivations in approaching me were pure and honest.  So I began to research Reiki.  Even though this was only seven years ago, there was precious little to go on.  I ordered a few books from the library because my Barnes and Noble didn't have one -- not one -- book on Reiki.

A wonderful series of coincidences led me to my first Reiki teacher, Annie Miller, and I felt so blessed to have met her.  We were a small group -- just four of us -- each as new and naive as the next.  We learned the history of Reiki and that we would be attuned to it.  What did that mean? I wondered.  After the attunement process - a moving experience of gentle quiet while my Reiki Master worked over me -- I felt this warmth rush through me and fill up my palms.  We all felt it in the class that day and were amazed.  My Reiki teacher looked nonplussed.  "That's the Reiki.  Now that you're attuned to it, it will be with you always.  Hands on, Reiki on."

She told us to do Reiki on ourselves every day for 21 days.  I learned the hand positions, even buying a large poster and hanging it up on a wall near my meditation spot to help me remember.  Every night I would sit there and do Reiki on myself.  After the first week, I began to see things.  Flickers of light out of the corners of my eye at first and then full on blinking white lights around people.  Sometimes I would see colored lights.  They appeared to me as little flashes of purple or blue or green or pink.  I was told that the white lights were people's loved ones in heaven watching over them and the colored lights were their angels.  I felt honored to see these things.

When I received my Reiki II attunement, I started to see actual people, people I had loved and lost.  The first person I saw was my dear friend George who showed me someone getting shot in the neck.  "Look up," he said.  But I couldn't.  I couldn't look up at the person's face. I was too scared.  How stupid I was, how scared.  If only I had known not to be afraid of my intuition.  Two weeks later my husband was shot in the neck by an escaped criminal he'd tried to apprehend with a taser.

A week after my husband's shooting, he was still in a coma and I discovered I was pregnant with my third daughter.  She was a complete surprise to me, a total blessing.  I couldn't stop throwing up that week.  Whenever I held my husband's cross in my hand that was covered with his blood, I would throw up and so the nurses suggested I take a pregnancy test.  I remember thinking how grateful I was that I had just received the Reiki II attunement.  Even though I was a bit of an emotional mess at that moment, I knew I could send my daughter Reiki the whole time she was growing inside of me.

When my husband finally came home a month later, I learned to set up a crystal Reiki grid and did Reiki on him every single day.  He healed a little bit each month.

A year later, I was led to my Reiki Master teacher, a wonderful, warm hearted woman named Gloria Spackman who has a true love for Reiki and helping others.  She taught us how to heal people with Reiki in the past and present.  We learned how to do Reiki "surgery" and how to pass on the gift of Reiki to others.  And so now I'm a Reiki teacher too, and I could't feel more honored.

Every time one of my children falls and gets a scrape, I put my hands on the cut and think of my teacher's words.  "Hands on, Reiki on."  My husband calls me his electric blanket because the warmth of Reiki energy runs through me all day and night.  It's a wonderful feeling.  Sometimes, I'll be getting ready to do Reiki on someone and I'll feel nervous because it's still cold in my office and my fingers will feel cold.  But then I draw the symbols on my hands and feel the warmth rushing through to my fingers.  It's a truly miraculous feeling.

Most people cry when they are on my table receiving Reiki and they always get embarrassed.  But I tell them not to. Reiki is like the Drano of healing techniques -- it clears us out, gets rid of all the negative "stuff."

I love that Reiki isn't affiliated with any belief system, that anyone -- young or old -- can receive Reiki.  Even babies have received the attunement.  I love that there's no ego in Reiki.  It's never about the healer, you never have to do anything to pass on Reiki.  You just have to be in a position of allowing and let the Reiki energy flow through you.

Reiki has changed my life.  And I hope if you're inspired by this post, you'll consider letting Reiki change your life too.

Crystals For Abundance

Tonight on PsychicTeachers, we're discussing ways you can increase your financial abundance.  If you missed the show, check out the archive on iTunes.com.  Just search Psychicteachers -- all one word.

If you're looking to increase your financial vibration so that you attract more money, look to crystals to help you.  The following is a list of crystals that will help your debt fly out the window and your checking account begin to fill up!

Citrine: The stone of success.  This stone helps us to attract money and KEEP it.

Green Aventurine: The stone of Luck.  Green Aventurine will help increase your luck!

Pyrite: The gold stone.  Pyrite helps us to believe in our own ability and worth so that we can healthily attract money

Rose Quartz: The love stone.  This stone helps us to love ourselves so that we can attract money without doubt or self judgement and criticism

Tree Agate: This stone will help us to grow the money we already have.

Moss Agate:  This stone will help you to increase your confidence and success enabling you to get that job, raise or promotion.

So what should you do with these stones?  You can create a money grid with them, you can keep them in your wallet, you can place them in a plant on your kitchen sill over an affirmation that reads "As this plant grows so does my wealth."  You can keep them in your money corner of your home which is the opposite left hand corner from your front door.   Be creative with your use of the stones, have faith that they will work hard for you, set your intentions on increasing your money and watch the money flow increase.

What Happens If Your Crystal Breaks?

I received this question today and thought it would be a great topic to discuss here on my Blog.  What do you do if your crystal breaks?  There is so much information out there on this topic and, unfortunately, few of the experts actually agree.  Some say you should bury the stone.  Others say you should place it in a bag of sage for several months.  Some believe you should no longer use the stone.  Based on my experience with stones and what I've learned in my meditations, here is my opinion:


If a crystal that is meant to protect you breaks, then this is often seen as a warning.  These crystals include turquoise, jasper, malachite, hematite, moss agate and a few others. I had a malachite worry stone that I treasured greatly.  One day, for no reason, the tip broke off.  I was devastated and refused to believe anything bad would happen.  I superglued the tip on and still have that piece of malachite today!  Still, two weeks later my husband was shot in the line of duty. If a protective stone breaks, it does not necessarily mean something negative will happen to you.  My experience could have been just a coincidence.  Who knows?  Either way, take it as a sign to be more careful.  But I would highly advice against supergluing your crystal back together :)

If a crystal that is meant to do something positive breaks, then it means you're supposed to share it.  Rose quart brings love, for example, so if that breaks it means you need to share your love.  Smokey quartz clears away negativity and depression.  So if it breaks, I would share it with someone you know who is feeling down right now.  I have a piece of smokey quartz that is self healed.  Sometimes our crystals will heal themselves and this stone then becomes a powerful stone to help you to heal yourself.

If a stone breaks that is meant to be healing such as a green stone, then again I would think about someone in my life who is feeling under the weather and I'd share that stone with him or her.  I have a kyanite stone that I love.  Most nights I sleep with it under my pillow because kyanite will help cleanse your chakras while you sleep.  One morning I awoke and saw that a blade of the kyanite had fallen off.  I thought this was odd but didn't think any more about it.  That afternoon, I bumped into my neighbor who told me he had to have tests done on his throat after doctors had discovered some nodules.  I quickly ran inside and grabbed my kyanite blade and gave it to him.

Sometimes a stone breaks and we don't really know why.  I had wanted a Lemurian crystal for so, so long.  In 2005, a client brought me one she had purchased at a gem show, and I fell in love with that stone.  I spent the next 6 years searching for the perfect Lemurian.  I never really found it, but last summer when I was vacationing in Asheville with my family, I stopped in at Points of Light and found a lovely Lemurian.  It had a little bubble of clear quartz that looked like a window into another world.  I loved this little quartz and carried it with me everywhere and to all my readings.  Three months later, I was walking into my kitchen to grab the phone.  I had the Lemurian in one hand and when I reached for the phone, the crystal dropped and broke into pieces on my hard tile floor.  I was devastated.  I called my crystal guru friend Joel and he told me to place it in a bag of Sage to let it heal from the break.  I did as he instructed but my heart felt a bit sad.  I wondered if I wasn't spiritually ready for the Lemurian.  I worried if it meant something bad might happen like when my Malachite broke.  


Months went by and I didn't try to replace my Lemurian.  Then one day, a package arrived in the mail.  Inside, under heaps and heaps of tissue paper, was the most beautiful Lemurian I've ever seen in my life.  It's over four inches tall and two and a half inches wide.  It's a Buddha Lemurian crystal which means there's a perfect image of the Buddha sitting in the middle of the stone.  I had read about this type of stone and wondered if such a thing could be possible and now here it was  -- in my hands.  It even had rainbows sprinkled throughout it.  There was a lovely note from my friend Joel.  He said he'd gotten the message when my Lemurian broke that it was time to give his Lemurian to me.  This stone, he said, had been found outside a cave in Brazil.  And on its long journey, it had somehow come to me.  I couldn't have been happier.  He apologized for the delay in getting the stone to me, explaining that it was difficult to part with.  And staring at that majestic crystal, I could definitely understand why he didn't want to part with it.  


Now I have the Lemurian crystal I've always wanted;  actually it's so much better than any crystal I could have dreamed of.  So when crystals break, try not to get scared or worried and know that it means it's just time for you to share your stones or receive new ones.  Crystals are meant to be shared, not coveted nor kept in boxes.  Still, when I receive the message to pass on my Lemurian to its new owner, I will be very sad indeed.  


Open your heart to crystals and be ready to experience subtle and profound changes that will take your breath away.  Crystals are hard working light workers who always leave their caretakers better people than when they first met.  

Crystal of the Week -- Diamonds

Diamonds are more than just pretty engagement rings; they’re powerfully strong crystals that can help us charge through tough times and face down our deepest fears.  The Greek word for diamond, adama, means invincible.

Unlike most stones that are comprised of at least two elements – the perfect diamond is made up of just one – carbon.  It’s completed its evolution and is perfect, strong and whole just as it is.  In the scale of hardiness, it’s the only stone with the highest rating of 10.  A clear diamond is perfectly reflective and holds within it all the colors of the rainbow making it a stone of limitless potential to its wearer. 

Diamonds are the hardest natural mineral in the world.  They crystallize deep in the earth’s surface, as much as one hundred miles down, under millions of pounds of pressure.  For this reason, it’s said that diamonds can help you face high pressured situations with calm, dignity and ease. 

Historically, people have attributed many miraculous claims to the diamond – none of which have proven true. Alchemists believed diamonds could make the wearer invisible.  Some said they cured insanity. Others believed that two diamonds placed together and watered with May dew would make the gems mate and have offspring. In 1534, doctors tried to cure Pope Clement II with a mixture of powdered gems, including diamonds.   Mary, Queen of Scotts, wore a diamond that was supposed to protect her from poisoning.  Unfortunately, no one gave her a stone to protect against beheading.

However, it is known that diamonds symbolize faith and longevity in love.  Because of their hardiness, diamonds bring to the wearer strength, fidelity and courage.  They’re also great amplifiers of energy.  So if you’re feeling ill, angry or sad, do not wear your diamond because you’ll just amplify this energy.   It’s believed that when your diamond gets cloudy or murky looking, it’s time to take a good look at your emotions.  Diamonds tend to cloud up when the wearer is feeling run down, sad or angry.  They can also get cloudy when it’s time for us to take a good, hard look at our marriage.  It’s important, therefore, to keep your diamond cleansed.  Simply running it under water or soaking it in jewelry cleanser will help.

The diamond is associated with the crown chakra which means it will help us get in touch with our spirituality.  Because of its clarity, diamonds help us to cut through any chaos in our life to see the seed of the problem, allowing us to finally hear the still, small voice within.

My Guide's Lesson on Forgiveness

I just woke up from the most vivid dream.  I was walking down a street with my guide; he was being quiet as always and I was yammering away.  We bumped into a friend of mine from high school.  She is someone I haven't seen or thought about in a very long time.  I hugged her and asked her how she was and suddenly she started pouring her heart out to us.  She said she'd been trying in recent years to forgive her brother and father for sexually abusing her.  I was shocked.  This woman was always happy, upbeat and kind to everyone she met.  I had no idea she'd had to deal with this.  I hugged her again and was about to tell her how forgiveness takes time, but it's worth it and how you can't forgive someone just once.  It has to happen over and over.  But my guide just made this dismissive wave in the air with his hand and said, "You don't need to forgive them.  You need to forgive yourself."

And then I woke up.  It's so true, what he said, isn't it?  Sometimes, we're the last person on the list of forgiveness when, really, we should start with ourselves.  We always blame ourselves, even when the notion seems outrageous.  I've worked with other clients of sexual abuse, and I've seen them wrestle with a lack of self-forgiveness.  I've seen mothers of addicts beat themselves up because they should've known about the drugs or stopped it or practiced tough love sooner.  I've seen husbands fall to tears when their wives cheat on them believing that if only they'd played less golf or watched less TV, this wouldn't have happened.  I've seen teachers fall apart after a student committed suicide because the teachers felt they should have seen the signs.

We all do this.  It's safe to beat ourselves up -- we've been doing it long enough.  But just for today, practice being gentle and kind to yourself.  And let's all take a moment to forgive ourselves -- to embrace ourselves with unconditional love and allow ourselves to bask -- even for a moment -- in the joy of this love.  I think it's the closest we can come to knowing God's love for us.

Are You Intuitive?

I believe we're all intuitive, that our intuitive ability is a natural sense -- not some spooky, weird "I-see-dead-people" sixth sense, but a real, natural ability.  Read the information below to see where your intuitive strength is.

You might be CLAIRVOYANT if:

You dream in color
You visualize things easily
You love to read
You prefer directions to be written down for you
You may feel a tingly in your forehead from time to time
You see flickers of light or movement frequently out of the corner of your eye
You have precognitive dreams
As a child, you saw a ghost
As a child, you had an imaginary friend
You tend to say things like, "Do you see what I mean?" or "Can you picture that?" or "I don't like the look of that."

You might be CLAIRAUDIENT if:

You've woken up and heard your name being called
You hear a subtle ringing in your ears from time to time
You find that songs will randomly pop into your head
You learn best by hearing information
You tend to say things like, "That doesn't sound right" or "that has a good ring to it" or "sounds good to me"

You might be CLAIRSENTIENT if:

You get strong gut feelings about people that turn out to be true
You feel sick to your stomach around negative people
You feel happy and light around positive people
You dislike crowds and large social settings
You tend to say things like, "That feels right to me" or "I got butterflies on my first day!" or "I have a good feeling about this."



You might find that you're strong in more than one category.  Most intuitives are predominantly one CLAIRE with strengths in one more area.  Start to pay attention to your dreams, to songs that pop into your head (listen to the lyrics), to situations and people that "feel" either good or bad.  Intuitives need to learn to trust their first impressions, their gut feelings.  Take time every day to sit in silence for five minutes -- even if it's just in your car.  Unplug from the radio, your cell, your iPod for at least five minutes every day and just listen.

Things that will temporarily stunt your intuition:

1) lack of sleep
2) red meat because it's very grounding.  After a full day of readings, I will often have a steak just to help me come down to earth again :)
3) feeling actively angry at someone
4) being worried about a situation in your life
5) for some people, dairy tends to calm their intuition down

Things that will increase your intuition:

1) meditating
2) prayer
3) crystals
4) Reiki
5) getting plenty of rest
6) eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and drinking plenty of water
7)practicing forgiveness
8) releasing anger through the power of surrender
9) releasing judgement, choosing instead to feel compassion for others, especially those that push our buttons
10) trying to release the little daily things that make us angry -- the slow car in front of us, losing our car keys as we're about to run out the door, the woman at the check out who writes a check and uses 57 coupons

Numbers 7 - 10 are not easy nor are they ones I've mastered myself.  But I think just trying to practice them will help you to create a space in your psyche for your intuition to flourish.

Also, read, read, read.  Not only will reading about spirituality and intuition help to increase your own psychic abilities and enhance your life in general, but I've noticed that when we read books on intuition, we tend to have more psychic experiences.  For example, I lent my dad (who does not believe in reincarnation simply because, in his words, "it's exhausting to think of coming back") a book on past lives, and he called me to say that he'd dreamt about a life he lived in Germany during WWI.

For some good book recommendations, check out my website (thecrystalchick.com) and click on Recommended Reading.  Also, check out archives of my podcast PsychicTeachers with Deb Bowen for weekly tips on increasing your intuition. (Just go to iTunes, search PsychicTeachers, all one word, and you'll find us!)

When Reality Slaps You in the Face

As we navigate our way through this new year, I'm sure many of you have made some great resolutions and set some wonderful goals for yourself.  I just want you (and me) to be prepared for the moment when reality will slap us in the face and say, "Really?  You really thought you could do this? Are you kidding me? Who do you think you are?"

When (not if, but when) this happens to you, your job is to stand up to this illusion of reality and say, "Hell yes I'm doing this and there's nothing you can do about it."

That's the only way to accomplish really hard stuff -- face it, force your way through it and plow on.

Reality slaps me in the face all the time.  Last year when me literary agent said, "Your writing is too dark for me; I don't think I'm the right fit for you," I had to go teach part 2 of my Manifest Your Destiny class.  I cried the whole day and the entire drive to the studio.  But I taught that class, even though I felt like an impostor the whole time.  I was honest, though; I told them how I had manifested every goal I'd ever set for myself except getting my novel published.  And I used that example to show people how when we really, really, really, really want something we'll never manifest it because we want it too much.  Part of manifesting is learning how to let go.  Surrender is the key to everything.

There are days when I like to pretend that my marriage is normal and just like everyone else's, that my husband doesn't have a brain injury and nothing has changed.  I can over look the twice daily doses of medicine, I can write off the debilitating migraines as just a headache.  I can pretend that most grown men need to take naps. But then reality will slap me in the face.  One week into my kids' Christmas break, for example, he set the alarm for six am and woke us all up saying, "It's time for school."  He'll forget appointments and then blame me for not reminding him.  If I ask him to run the bath for the kids, he'll forget to turn the water off.  He says inappropriate things all the time because part of having a brain injury means you don't have that filter -- you know the one that tells you when to shut up.  Once we were having dinner at our favorite restaurant and were shocked to see a friend of ours walk up to take our order.  She had an excellent job as a Pharmaceutical Rep.  Mike said, "You're our waitress?" She smiled and said, "Yeah, I got laid off when the company merged, so I thought I'd work here until something opens up for me."  And Mike said, "Wow, that really sucks.  This is all you could find?" It was at that moment that I kicked him under the table to which he replied, "Ouch! Samantha! Why are you kicking me under the table?"

Oh good grief.

Yes, reality slaps me silly sometimes, but I still forge on.

My husband Mike, who spent 14 years working the poorest of poor projects as a police officer and had to witness daily things we don't ever want to know about, has a habit of saying, "Well, that's reality."

This morning, I made him turn off the news because I didn't want my children to hear the news story about the three girls killed in the Christmas fire.  "Turn that off," I said. "I don't want them to see that."  And Mike replied, "Why not? It's reality." Well, so is murder and molestation and all sorts of mayhem, but it's not my reality.  I don't have to invite it into my home.

Like the title of one of my favorite teen movies proclaims, "Reality Bites."  It really, really does.  And we all have to face it.  We can not hide from reality.  The fact that your dad has no idea what love is and will never really be able to show anyone love will not change and that does suck.  The fact that your wife left you is terrible.  And you who lost your job a year ago and can't pay your mortgage this month, that is reality and it's not changing.

Ah, but here's where hope begins to sprout its eternal wings.  Because while the facts may not change - my husband isn't going to wake up tomorrow with a healthy brain and no good Samaritan is going to pay your mortgage -- what will and can and must change is how we confront reality.  We have to face it not with dejected shoulders and a, "Yeah, I guess you're right.  Life does suck" attitude, but with a new face -- one bent on optimism and hope, possibilities and miracles.

Take me, for example, if my husband hadn't been struck by that bullet, I might never have found the courage to do this work.  Because I ignored the dreams I'd had for weeks prior of someone being shot, I vowed to never again ignore my intuition.  In addition, I now handle all the bills, investments, major decisions, and, well, everything.  Given that I was raised in a home where my mom never even wrote a check in her life and given that I was once voted The Girl Most Likely to Sit Poolside at the Club, I think that's a huge victory.  I now know how to fix a clogged drain, a broken toilet, and can put together any toy in any box.  I can pick up every bug that comes in my home and take it outside instead of whining, "Mike! Come quick!"   I can also look people in the face who are dealing with similar situations and say, "You'll get through this.  I know you will."

These are huge triumphs for me.  Really, they are.  I used to be someone who wanted to be taken care of.  My childhood was very difficult, and when I met a big, handsome cop, I practically fell into his arms and said, "Save me."  Now I'm the one who saves him  -- as much as I can -- and when I can't (refer back to waitress story), I just try to laugh it off.  Back off Reality; you're not as scary as your bark.

So, the moral of this story is that when reality barks at you, BARK BACK.  

What Do Our Guides Think Of Us?

I love hearing from people's spirit guides.  They have all sorts of different personalities.  Mine is strict and a bit serious.  But some of you have guides who are hilarious or maternal or sympathetic.  Some are a bit nagging and can even be pushy. Others are quiet and patient, preferring to remain firmly in the background.

The first guide I ever communicated with made me laugh out loud.  I was taking an intuitive development course, and the teacher instructed us to work with a partner and try to connect with his or her guide.  I was partnered up with a quiet, older woman who had never attended the class before.  I held her hands as instructed, closed my eyes and allowed the teacher to guide me on a meditation to meet her guide.  I have a place I go to when I meditate -- my crystal cave.  So I pictured my crystal cave with the crystal bridge to the other side and mentally asked my partner's guide to show up.  Almost instantly, I saw a tall, white, very thin man walk across the bridge.  He had a long, grayish white beard and sparkly blue eyes.  He was wearing an old, worn brown robe with a simple rope belt. He had shoulder length, thinning grayish white hair.  He smiled at me.  I asked him his name and he said, "Archibald."  I asked, "Archibald?"  He nodded, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Yes, but she can call me Archie," and then he bowed to me and revealed his monk's tincture, a perfect circle of baldness, "Or Baldie."  I laughed out loud because it was such a funny joke and a joke I could never have "imagined" myself.

When I asked him if he had a message for my client, he said, "Yes, tell her it's time for her to go back to her gift, to doing this."  Wanting more validation, I asked what she did now, and he showed me a business card with the word "Weddings" written in calligraphy.  My partner said she was a wedding planner and that she used to give readings more than 30 years ago.

Archibald still remains for me the clearest and most accurate contact I've ever had with someone's spirit guide.  I felt as though I could have talked to him all night.  He gave me validation after validation after validation.   Sometimes, I've wished he were my guide instead of the stern, strict Native American man who always appears to me with his arms crossed in front and a slight frown on his face.  Oh well.

Yesterday, I met a lovely, joyful guide -- a little Indian yogi man -- who said the most wonderful thing about my client.  When people come to see me in person, I like to begin by doing Reiki on them.  These moments of silence are needed for me to communicate with the client's guide.  I always ask the guide for the same information each time -- my client's soul purpose and life lessons.  This time, the woman's spirit guide was a chatty one and he said, "Tell her that her strength of spirit inspires even us over here sometimes."

That really struck me.  Can our guides and angels be inspired by us? I asked myself.  Well, why not?  Sometimes humans do, experience and endure amazing things with great strength and love.  When I sat down to talk with my client it was revealed throughout the hour that she'd lost her husband and then her son had passed in a tragic car accident.  Yet, the woman before me had a beautiful smile and a wonderful, joyful energy.  I could see how her strength could inspire people everywhere -- even on the other side.

It's something to think about, isn't it? What does your guide think of you?

2012 By the Numbers

I thought it be fun to look at the upcoming year through the eyes of numerology.

2012 is a FIVE year (2 + 0 + 1 + 2 = 5) which means we can expect a lot of change, adventure, travel and some upheaval too.  The number 5 energy is only happy when it's changing things up, so you can expect surprises this year.

Now, let's look at your personal year by the numbers.  To find it, all you have to do is add your birth DAY plus your birth MONTH plus 2012.  So, if you were born on January 1, you would add your numbers this way: 1 + 1 + 2012 = 7.  If you get a double digit number, simply reduce it to a single digit by adding them together. If you were born on December 23, for example, your numbers would look like this: 12 + 23 + 2012 = 13.  Then you would add 1 + 3 = 4.  You are in a 4 year.

Here's a look at what the numbers mean for your year.

If you're in a  personal year of 1, this is a year of new beginnings for you.  This is a great year to start something new, to venture out, to begin again.  This is your year to take a leadership position, to be number one at what you do.  When we're on a 1 year, we often want to do everything ourselves, so don't forget to ask for help.

If you're in a personal year of 2, this is good year to meet someone, to fall in love or to join a partnership.  The 2 year also involves taking stock of your relationships and determining which ones are and aren't working for you.  A 2 year is often an emotional year where we take a step back and evaluate ourselves more closely.  It's the year to focus on intimacy and affection.  Don't be afraid to open yourself to love.

If you're in a personal year of 3, this is the year to put yourself out there.  Three is the energy of the creator, so it's a great year to work on any creative project.  This is a year of great socialization, meeting new people, networking, making great contacts and fulfilling goals you've been working on since your one year. It's also a great year to work on your appearance, to dress up and feel good about yourself from the inside out.

If you're in a 4 year, this is a great time to put down roots, find balance in your life and sharpen your knowledge.  Four is the number of the teacher, so it's a great year to learn something new or to become a teacher, coach or mentor for someone.  Because fours love their home, this is an excellent year to tackle some household projects.  Do some painting, get new kitchen counters or turn that attic into a guest room.

If you're in a 5 year, prepare for lots of adventure.  The motto of a 5 year is plan for nothing because everything might change at the last minute.  It's a great year to travel. This is not, however, a good year to make commitments.

If you're in a personal 6 year, this is the year to make commitments.  It's a great year to get married or have a child.  The six year presents a great opportunity to settle down.  You'll also find that you're a magnet for other people.  Sit back and relax.  After the five year you just went through, you deserve the rest!

If you're in a personal year of 7, this is a great year to explore your spirituality.  Seven represents the seeker.  It's also a great year to try counseling or therapy because you'll feel more thoughtful, more introspective this year.  You'll be asking the big questions, evaluating the past, and going within.  A good therapist can help you navigate this inward journey.  You might find that you need more alone time this year, and that's okay.  Just be sure to make your faith life a big part of this year's plans.

In a personal year of 8, you just might find yourself coming into money.  Eight years are years of working hard, but you'll get the payoff of a better paycheck in the end.  Your focus this year should be on working hard, saving for the future and planning your investments.  In our eight year we have to be careful about our health.  Make sure you take good care of yourself this year.  Eat well, get plenty of rest and exercise.

If you're in a personal year of 9, this is the year to clear away what's not working for you.  Often referred to as the Garage Sale year, in our 9 year, we take stock of our lives and walk away from friendships, relationships, jobs and other situations that aren't working for our betterment.  This is also a great year to do some physical cleaning.  Clear out your garage and attic this year or organize your photos.  Nine is also the spiritual number of completion, so this is a good year for things to come to a conclusion.  If you've been waiting for a promotion to come through or waiting for a divorce to be finalized, it just might happen in your personal year of 9.

Whatever year number you find yourself in, I wish you a great one!