Letting Go of Anger

For the past two weeks, I've come in contact with so many angry clients.  I actually had a woman bang my table (my glass table) repeatedly when I told her that the man she was in love with did not reciprocate her feelings.  Another client told me I was wrong when I suggested to him that fighting over money was not a good way to honor his parents on the other side.  I went blueberry picking this morning with my daughter and walked to our designated spot behind a woman and her daughter.  The woman kept reaching out to pick and eat blueberries as we walked.  One of the workers said, "Ma'am would you mind not picking those?  They're still maturing."  I had to spend the next twenty minutes listening to the woman complain bitterly to her daughter about the nerve of that employee.  Really?  What about the nerve of you to pick food you won't pay for? I felt like asking.  She seemed to represent a metaphor to me for many of the clients I come in contact with -- people who are angry at situations and circumstances they can't and shouldn't control.

If someone doesn't reciprocate your romantic feelings, don't get mad, get moving.  Why waste your energy on that?  When I was in the dating world, if a man I was interested in wasn't interested in me, my first emotion was never anger.  Disappointment, maybe, but then I'd shrug it off and move on.

If your family member is withholding money from you that you feel owed from a will, remember this: IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY.  It's money your parents earned and gifted to you and your siblings.  It's a gift.  It's nothing you worked for or earned.  It's a gift.  Don't spend time, karma or anger over the trivialities of money.  If your sibling steals or takes most of the money from an estate, fine.  It's done.  Get over it.  You can either 1) sue and spend all your money in litigation while earning bad karma, spewing negativity all around you and inviting lots of anger and hate into your life or you can 2) let it go.  It's their karma.  Let them deal with it.  Take what's gifted to you, be thankful for that, and MOVE ON.

If you're angry because a spouse left you/cheated on/hid  money from you, you need to recognize that you're doing no one any good by stewing in anger.  Does it suck that this happened to you? YES.  Is anything good or positive going to come out of all this anger?  NO.

Anger settles in our heart and stomach and causes all sorts of problems with heart, stomach, liver, colon and gall bladder issues.  It will manifest itself physically in nasty ways.  Emotionally, anger is like a cold virus.  It's easy to catch.  Think about that.  When you're angry, it makes the people around you angry.  Your kids, your friends, your co-workers.  Soon no one will want to be around you.

I have a client who's often angry.  His first response to most everything is to be pissed off.  I think he feels like he won't be a victim if he responds to everything with anger.  It's his blanket, his comforting way to protect himself. But he has very few friends.  His wife is leaving him and his kids are scared of him.  When I try to point this out to him, he gets angry (what a shock) and starts to angrily defend his right to be angry.

Ugh, it's exhausting.  I can't stand angry people.

Anger has a place in our life.  We need to experience anger because it does protect us and it can be a great motivating source.  St. Augustine said, "Hope has two beautiful daughters: their names are anger and courage. Anger that things are the way they are.  Courage to make them the way they ought to be." But here's the key: we need to learn to move quickly from anger to courage.  Holding on to anger serves no useful or healthy purpose.

Meditate today on letting go of anger.  See it like a black crow just flying out of your heart.  Just let it go.  It's really the only way.  Let it go.  And if you can't, pray for the courage to be strong enough to rise above the need to marinate in anger.  Staying in an angry state is the mark of a new soul.  You want to grow, to move beyond that.  The best way to do that is through surrender and acceptance.

Some practical suggestions for getting rid of anger in your life:

1) Start seeing a therapist so you can constructively get your anger out in a healthy situation
2) Exercise every day
3) Write in a journal to get your feelings out of your body
4) Practice forgiveness.  Send the person you're angry with pink light for love and forgiveness
5) Pray for peace, acceptance and the ability to let this go
6) Do something every day for someone else.  Get the focus off yourself.  I've always said the key to happiness is not focusing on you -- your needs, your wants, your anger -- but on service.  That is, after all, why we're here.

To Tell or Not To Tell? That is The Question

Almost every day, I receive a message from loved ones in spirit for random people I encounter throughout the day.  The woman ringing me up at the grocery store had a loud mother telling me that the cashier needed to watch out for her son and the kids he was hanging out with.  But more often than not, it's just an average, ordinary message.  "Tell her I love her and that I'm okay."  In church on Sunday, for example, I sat next to a lovely elderly couple.  There was a brother in spirit trying to connect to the woman next to me.  All he wanted her to know was that he was safe in heaven and that he loved her.  That's it.  I could get no other significant validations.  I told him I wouldn't do it.  I couldn't freak out this poor lady in church of all places with a message from her deceased brother.  If he had something like, "Tell her that her grandson in Iraq is coming home safely this September," I could have worked that into a conversation after mass.

That message actually did come through once, and I was able to deliver it without the person really knowing where it came from.  I can be clever and sneaky in conversations when I need to be, and I find that most people don't really question me when I tell them I have a good feeling about something.  I've used the dream excuse many times to pass on messages to acquaintances.  "I had a dream that you were going to get that job."  Or "I had a dream that your angel told me your mom was going to pull through her surgery with flying colors."

But to randomly walk up to an unsuspecting woman after church and tell her, "Hi! My name is Samantha and I'm a medium.  Your brother is here and he just wants you to know that he's doing great in heaven.  Have a great day!"

I don't think so.

And so I wished her well after church and walked away from her.

I feel terrible when these things happen because I know if I were in heaven, I'd seek out any and all mediums to let my family know that I was happy, well and okay in heaven.  I know they want their families to have that validation, but unless I get something specific -- like a name, a date or something important coming up or going on with the family -- I'm not going to risk looking like a fool or sending them into possibly more grief just by bringing up old memories.

Still, it haunts me, literally, when I refuse the spirits.  I feel bad for them, but what can I do?  Unless they can use their energy to communicate more specifically with me, I feel like my hands are tied in these situations.  What's your opinion?  Have you shared messages with unsuspecting strangers?  Or do you agree that it's better to be discreet when possible?

LIVE LARGE!!

I hope you get a chance to listen to the Psychic Teacher's radio show I did this past Sunday with my special guest Jill Large, owner of LIVE LARGE.  You can also catch it either by going to www.blogtalkradio.com/psychicteachers or going to iTunes and searching Psychicteachers (all one word). It was a great show because Jill is so amazing and inspirational.

On November 4, 2009 Jill gave birth to her son and became a mother for the very first time.  But just 10 days later her husband, JJ, would suddenly die in his sleep.  She had to endure the stressors of being a first time mother with the painful tragedy of losing her husband and best friend.  While most new mothers are indulging in a bit of pampering as friends and family come by to visit the baby, Jill was busy planning her husband's funeral.  But Jill chose not to wallow in sadness and grief.  She relied on her husband's life philosophy, LIVE LARGE, and decided to honor him by encouraging others to make the most of their lives, to live large and dream big.  So she created Live Large and now makes T-shirts with that logo and pendants as well.

Jill knows JJ is just a thought away.  She feels his presence around her often, hears special songs and sees his sign for her -- a rainbow -- when she needs to "hear" from him.  JJ's bright light and loving heart that he shared with his friends and loved ones while he was here on Earth continue to inspire and brighten the lives of those he touched.  But now, through Jill, other people can be inspired by his philosophy and Jill's amazing attitude.  Why let life get you down when you can embrace your joy -- however transient or permanent it may be -- and live large?

As she raises their son alone, she knows that JJ's enthusiasm for life and her own courage and strength will guide their son through all the twists and turns of his own path.

Jill is a client of mine whom I've met on several occasions; her resiliency and true grace in the face of this loss is truly inspiring.  I hope you get a chance to listen to the show so you can see what I mean.

For information on ordering the T-shirts and pendants, please contact Jill at jill.large@gmail.com

What are you waiting for?  LIVE LARGE!

Nursing Homes in Heaven

My very good friend lost her grandmother a year ago.  She was very elderly and had lived for many years in a nursing home.  When she died, my friend kept asking me if I felt her around.  But I didn't.  Periodically throughout the year, my friend would ask, "Has my grandmother touched base with you yet? I keep asking her to check in with you to let me know she's okay."  But I never heard from her.  It got to be a bit embarrassing because I'm sure my friend was beginning to doubt my mediumship abilities.  When she went through some very difficult times over the holidays, I meditated and purposely reached out to her grandmother.  Nothing.

Then, a week ago, her grandmother popped into my meditation.  I was shocked and relieved and happy!  She said she'd been in a nursing home in heaven for the past year resting and adjusting to her new life.  "I haven't left the nursing home and haven't been able to reach out to anybody.  It was a lovely, restful and idyllic time."  She had no idea about the trouble her granddaughter had been going through and was very distraught.  "Please let her know I'm going to be helping her now that I know."

I called my friend right away, but she wasn't home.  I didn't want to leave a message about this.  What would I say? "Hi, it's Samantha.  Your grandmother finally made contact.  Call me!" Um, I don't think so.

But this grandmother was suddenly a constant presence by my side.  I'm sure my friend thought I was suddenly her strangest friend because normally I hate to talk on the phone and prefer to see my friends in person.  But this day, I called my friend four times.  Finally, she returned my call.  "What's wrong?" she fairly screamed in my ear.  When I told her about her grandmother, she said, "Oh my God.  She died a year ago today."

So, if you haven't heard from or felt the presence of a loved one on the other side, rest assured that they may be in a nursing home of sorts in heaven.

Beautiful Message of Forgiveness

I was doing a reading for a woman recently and kept seeing a man on a motorcycle, but my client said she never knew a man who owned a motorcycle.  However, throughout the hour long reading, this man stayed in her energy field patiently waiting to get his message through.  Finally I said, "I've got to let this man come through.  He died while riding a motorcycle.  I think a car hit him by accident."  My client looked suddenly shocked and said, "Oh my God!  I think I know who that is.  A few years back my niece hit a man on a motorcycle and he died.  She's felt just terrible about that."  And that's when I heard the man's message so clearly in my head: "Tell her I forgive her.  It's okay.  I'm okay."

I was amazed first at his message of forgiveness and second at his ability to come through to me.  Usually, a spirit needs to have a link to the client.  That's why a famous person, for example, doesn't randomly show up.   There must be a link between the client and the person on the other side.  But here, the link was tenuous at best and yet there he was -- so insistent and patient all at the same time to pass on the timeless gift of forgiveness.

My client promised to pass the message on to her niece and the man faded from her energy.

Limitless Thinking

Almost every day, I walk five miles with my friend and on those walks, we not only counsel each other through highs and lows but we witness things that teach us about nature, life and people.  There's a silly woodpecker who's always pecking away at a tin roof.  I call him our little neighborhood Forest Gump.  There's a red tailed hawk who circles us most mornings and then flies away.  We always hear the coo, coo of a lonely Carolina Dove.  And there are three cats at various stops along the way who always leave their driveway to greet us -- quite a privilege if you know cats :)

But there are other things I see that disturb me greatly.  Homes shut up on beautiful sunny mornings, their blinds closed against the light.  Houses without a single glimpse of shrubbery aligning their perimeter.  Or, worse, homes with hedges that cover half the windows and trees that are crying out to be trimmed.  I always wonder, "if your yard is such a mess, what could the inside of your home look like?  And if your home is in such a disarray, what is the state of your mind? Your soul?"

This past weekend, we walked by a house having a yard sale that was filled with junk -- used clothes and broken appliances.  People were picking through the discards, and I thought, "This is limited thinking."  Now, there's nothing wrong with browsing a great yard sale, but it led me to think about how so many people limit themselves, their desires and their goals.

Don't limit your thinking, don't limit your checkbook, your possibilities.  When you do, you're telling the universe, "This little, tiny bit is enough for me. Thank you.  Don't give me anything more."

My husband and I love to attend the Parade of Homes every year.  It's fun to look at homes decorated to within an inch of their lives.  We get a ton of great ideas for our house and always come home feeling inspired and hopeful.  When I asked a friend to join us this year, she said, "Oh no, I could never do that. It will make me want things I can never have."

I have another friend who brags, "I never buy anything full price.  Everything I own was bought on sale."

A family member often says, "Don't trade the devil you know for the devil you don't know;" meaning don't change, don't go beyond what you know.  Stay where you are.  Don't move.  Life is fearful.

And don't even get me started on the common catchphrase, "You can't have your cake and eat it too."  Who the hell wants cake they can't eat???????????????????????

Have your cake and eat it too.  Enjoy every bite.  Life is wonderful and limitless.  The universe responds to us with the same energy we send out.  If we send out fearful, limited energy, that's what we will get in return.  But if we send out abundant, giving, hopeful energy, THAT is what we'll get in return.

Don't limit yourself in any way -- not in your home, your clothes, your job, your vacations, your expectations, your hopes and your dreams.  Never say, "This is enough." We are created from a great and wondrous, limitless source.  We are meant to achieve, succeed and grow.  To do otherwise is to slap God in the face.  It's the same as saying, "Gee, thanks for giving me life, but I'm not really going to do anything with it."

Whenever I feel limited in my thinking, I start giving anonymously.  I tithe more at church, I give waitstaff extra tips, I hand money over to homeless people and sometimes, just for fun, I buy really pretty cards, stick a five or ten dollar bill in them, sign it from "Your Guardian Angel" and then I open the phone book, close my eyes and ask, "Who needs this card?" The first name my finger alights on gets the card.  It's a ton of fun and affirms that even when we're feeling limited, we're not.

Think of this: the more you make, the more you earn, and the more you can give back to others and return.

Did I just rhyme?  Yikes, it must be time for me to have a bountiful and limitless rest!  Hope you all are having a great week!

The Haunted Tea Pot

I did a reading this weekend for a lovely new client.  I felt some heaviness around her home and couldn't pin point the source.  It just felt like a blanket of sadness was hanging about her and depleting her energy.  I asked her family members on the other side to help me out and they showed me a teapot.  A teapot? I asked.  They nodded.  Okay.

"Do you have an antique teapot?" I asked cautiously.
"Yes," my client said.  "It's handle is broken, so I have to get it fixed."
"Well, I'm not sure how to say this, but there's a little old lady attached to that teapot.  She's hanging about your home and stealing all the good energy for herself."
"Oh! What should I do?"

I advised her to get rid of the teapot.  In addition to being an avid antique collector, this client was also a very gifted intuitive.  The two do NOT go hand in hand.  If you enjoy collecting antiques, please remember to put white light around yourself before entering the store.  When bringing home any antiques -- or anything previously owned -- sage it outside first before bringing it in your home.

I know it sounds weird that people get so attached to their things that they don't go into the light.  I can hardly believe it myself, but it happens all the time.  So, please, if you're an avid antique hunter or yard sale scavenger, remember to take precautions first.  Yes, one man's trash is another's treasure.  But just remember, you could be bringing home a lot more than "treasure."

Here are some signs that a ghost is inhabiting your surroundings:

1) an increase in illness -- especially upper respiratory infections and ear infections
2) more fighting among family members
3) depleted energy
4) an increase in general sadness and depression
5) things -- like keys, remote controls and phones -- temporarily disappearing only to reappear later
6) always feeling watched
7) either a desire to leave the house a lot or a desire to stay in the home all the time

For more information on how to rid yourself of a pesky house guest, check out this great read:  When Ghosts Speak by Mary Ann Winkowski

Life is Too Short

Many of the readings I conducted this week involved me encouraging people to finally live their dreams.  Your passions -- to heal, to create, to teach, to intuit -- are your passions because you're meant to live them. Please re-read that sentence.  God puts those desires in your heart because you're supposed to fully reveal them, experience them and share them.  He/she doesn't put those desires in your heart to tease you, to "mess" with you.  You have a love for intuition or art or healing or (fill in the blank) because that's what you're supposed to do with your life.  So, please, take this blogpost as a sign that NOW is the time to start living your dream.  To do otherwise is cowardly and selfish.  People need you and your unique talents and gifts.  You are a treasure chest waiting to be unlocked.  Reach inside, find your key and unlock your gifts so that we may share them.  Life is short.  Boredom is long.  Live your life now.  Now!

Dealing with Alzheimer's

I had an interesting experience this week that's happened to me many times in the past.  I thought I was connecting a woman with her deceased husband.  Everything he "said" to me, she validated.  When I said, "He's sorry about the caretaking he put you through," she burst into tears.  When she calmed down a bit, she told me that her husband was still very much alive but was dealing with Alzheimer's.  How can this be?  How could I have communicated with her husband?  What I've discovered is that people dealing with Alzheimer's usually don't want to leave this world because they feel needed here.  They're afraid to leave their kids, they're still worried about one of their family members, or they're afraid to cross over because they have unfinished business.  But their soul, their higher self, is very much ready to leave.  My guides have shown me that when Alzheimer's patients are having off days, forgetting more than usual, this means that their soul is on the other side visiting with loved ones and their angels and resting.

So if you love someone with Alzheimer's, I hope it brings you some comfort to know that they have a foot in both worlds.  God's love never abandons us; even in the face of this painful illness, God extends a hand to offer some relief, some moments of peace.   Please also know that you, too, can connect with your loved one dealing with Alzheimer's through meditation, prayer and intentional thought even if they're right in front of you.  Send them your love, light and prayers and know that they are truly in good hands.