Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Dealing with Suicidal Depression

So many of my clients are dealing with a profound depression -- the kind that makes you feel alone in a crowd, the kind that inspires a fear so deep you feel you'll never find your way out, a depression that robs you of hope, trust and faith.  If you've been feeling like this, know that you're not alone.  But know these things too:

2) You will survive this
3) Suicide truly never is the answer

When we commit suicide, we forfeit, we lose.  But we also rob those around of us of completing and fulfilling their life lessons related to us.  What does that all mean? It means that if you choose to end your life, you WILL have to come back here and repeat your experiences all over again with the same people.  Different time, different fads, different generation.  But I promise you it will be the same experience and the same people.

I don't know exactly why we have to go through painful experiences.  Even more, I don't know why they have to last so long.  But here are some reasons that have been explained to me by my guides and through my readings as to why we have to experience pain and suffering:

1) Painful experiences allow us to balance karma.  We humans are stubborn people and if often takes us many lifetimes to learn our lessons.  One of my clients was dating a married man when she came to see me.  "I know it's wrong," she said, "but I can't stop seeing him.  I love him so much."  Well, you all know how I feel about the "but I love him" phrase.  I suggested a past life regression to see if perhaps there was a connection between the two.  During the regression, we both saw the same thing.  In Montana in the mid 1800's, my client had been a prostitute in a brothel.  She fell in love with one of her clients (the married man in this life) who often came to town to see her.  For over fifteen years he promised her he would leave his wife and the two would be together.  He never did, and my client died in that brothel alone and bitter.  She came back into this life to repeat that experience so she could find the courage to leave him.

2) Suffering allows us to experience profound empathic feelings that lead to great lessons in forgiveness and compassion.  I've met clients who've had to suffer so they could learn to release judgement and experience compassion.  One of my clients, for example, was always judging her married friends who chose to divorce their spouse.  She peered out at the world from her Martha Stewart pedestal and looked down on most everyone.  That is until her husband announced her was in love with someone else and wanted a divorce.  Those same friends she had judged now surrounded her with love and support, and through that difficult year and a half she released her need to judge and learned the power of compassion and acceptance.

3) Very advanced souls often volunteer to experience pain as a way to better serve other souls.  I had a client who was asked to work with addicts.  Up in heaven, her advanced, kind soul happily agreed on one condition: she wanted to become an addict herself so she could then better help her future clients.  The drug didn't matter; the addiction did.  She chose heroin and spent six painful years fluctuating between addiction and recovery.  I'm happy to report that she's now on her way to becoming an amazing addiction counselor after she graduates in May.  What came through in her reading is that she didn't have to become a heroin addict.  Her guides just knew she had the wisdom and compassion needed to help addicted souls.  But she asked for this experience so she could truly understand the people she was to help.  That's an advanced soul.

C. S. Lewis believed we had to experience suffering so we would appreciate joy.  He viewed suffering as a gift to be treasured.  I guess he was an advanced soul too.  I don't think I'm an advanced soul because I hate suffering, despise pain and am constantly whining to God that I'm not as strong as he must think I am.  Still, I take my cup despite my complaints trusting that there's a reason for every sadness while remembering to enjoy every moment of joy and beauty.

For those of you dealing with one of those painful times now, I hope this post comforts you.  Be easy on yourself during this time.  Find a moment of joy in every day -- whether it's coming home to a good book, watching a funny movie, meeting a friend for lunch, playing a great game of golf, walking your dog in the park or buying a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  Fill yourself with light as much as possible and remember: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. .


  1. SO TRUE !!!! I've often read from some of the Catholic Saints biographies, that many of them delt with depression and pain. They have been examples for me when I've gone through rough, hopeless and painful times. I always say to myself, ' well, this could really be worse.' Pain (and I hate to say this) and suffering is a learning experience and I've learned to be a little more compassionate with others that are going through pain. Thanks for sharing !! Be Blessed....Rachel

  2. It would be nice if there would be merit here on Earth for being an advanced soul. For example, the girl who battled a heroine addiction for higher purposes should win something of a Nobel Peace Prize. I suppose adding a bonus would defeat the purpose of experiencing the pain and struggle of addiction, but it would still be nice.

  3. Let us not forget that the thieving addict, the drug dealer on the corner or that Eeyore of a person you work with might just be "in training" to spread a lot of love around one day. Bless them with love!