Thursday, October 4, 2012

Forgiving From Afar

I've met a lot of clients this month struggling with negative people in their lives.  I've heard stories of families opposing marriages, suing family members, and committing all sorts of betrayals.  I think it's important to know how to forgive and walk away.  Some people won't change.  They stubbornly cling to their errant views and seem to get meaner as the years pass.  If you have someone like this in your life, please know that being a good and kind and spiritual person does not mean you have to take this behavior from the people in your life.  You can forgive them for being the way they are, and then you can walk away.  Keep your distance.  Protect yourself.

I've had to distance myself from some negative people in my life, and I've had friends say, "But I thought you were the one who was always preaching forgiveness."  Yes, I do believe in forgiveness, but I also believe in self-preservation.  Negative people are miserable inside, and they won't be happy until everyone around them is as miserable and empty inside as they are.  It's important to maintain your  own health.

I will never forget a reading I did years ago for a woman trying to connect with her sister.  The sister came through and said, "I'm here with mom."  I saw a woman in a straight jacket.  So I asked the client if her mom had suffered from a mental illness.  My client nodded and said, "Mom was in and out of mental institutions my whole childhood."  Then I saw the mother take off  her straight jacket.  She radiated love and light and joy.  I heard her say, "I incarnated this way to teach my daughters strength, resilience and independence."

So, yes, I think we have to forgive the negative people in our lives and realize that they are souls on a journey just as we are.  We are all here to teach and learn.  If you think about the negative people in your life, I think you'll agree that they've taught you a lot about who you are.

Still, we do have to live this life -- difficult as that may be at times.  And doing it with negative people around us trying to tear us down can make life feel unbearable.  So, please, do yourself a favor.  Forgive the negative people in your life and then walk away.  Create distance.  Affirm that you deserve more.  And finally, forgive yourself.  Everything starts there.


  1. Thank you, Samantha. I needed to hear this today.

  2. I shared this with my mom who has been having a hard time dealing with her sister. My mom is in a really positive and good place right now and her sister was constantly stirring the pot and bringing negativity to her life so this helped to confirm her feelings of "forgiving from afar" - Thanks!