Friday, June 8, 2012

Text Message From Heaven

Thank you everyone for your lovely emails filled with prayers and well wishes.  I survived surgery, have been given a clean bill of health and am at home happily recovering.  I'm vacillating between being strong and a big baby.  There's still a lot of pain.  I can't raise my arm or bend over and had slight nerve damage during the surgery to my right arm which means I can't fully straighten it, so I'll need physical therapy when I'm feeling better.  However, my plastic surgeon is very pleased with the results and has asked me to pose topless in a breast cancer awareness calendar.  Hmm . . . . there's are so many jokes waiting to be mined there, but I'm too tired to pull them out.

I wanted to share with you all a wonderful experience I had yesterday.  As I've said before, I've felt very surrounded by my guides, angels and loved ones throughout this experience -- except this week.  Now that it's finally happened and I've lost one of my breasts, I feel very sad and rather alone in this experience which is odd given that my sister went through this ten years ago and hasn't left my side; I've also had great support from family and friends.  Still, my emotions are what they are and I can't argue them away.  I'm just sad that this had to happen at all, and if I need to throw a little pity party, well then, so be it.  I haven't felt much in the way of intuitive connections at all this week which always makes me feel a bit off and disconnected too.

Then yesterday I left the house for the first time in a week to attend my youngest daughter's kindergarten graduation and an award's ceremony for my fourth grader.  As my family and I were leaving the parish hall, a friend grabbed my arm and said, "Samantha! I have to talk to to you!"  Now I have to give you some background before I continue.  Her name is Kathleen.  Her mother was my mother-in-law's best friend for years.  They moved from NY to NC together and everything -- super close, really great friends.  So, Kathleen says to me, "Please don't think I'm weird, but is everything okay with you? I keep dreaming about you."  I paused for a moment because I've been really open about my cancer diagnosis, but I still hate dropping the bomb on people who don't know.  So I just said, "Well, did you hear about my mastectomy?" Kathleen covered her mouth with her hand and said, "No! Oh I'm so sorry.  I had no idea.  But now my dreams make sense. I kept dreaming that your mother-in-law was texting me: Samantha is going to be ok.  Please pray for her.  Please pray for Samantha."

Kathleen explained that she had that dream at least three times and said to her husband, "Should I tell Samantha?  She'll think I'm crazy."  I assured her that I was the last person that would ever think that and thanked her profusely for the message.

How nice to be assured that my mother-in-law went to so many lengths to let me know she was with me, praying for me, getting everyone else to pray for me and trying to assure me that everything will be okay.  And as I sit here typing this with a melting ice pack under my arm, I really do believe she just might be right.

1 comment:

  1. Lovely Samantha. Thanks for taking the time to share any and ALL feelings you are having. I too am sad that any of this is happening to you, and support your right to rage against nature in pure King Lear form. This too is part of our human/animal nature and must bring with it a particular healing energy, no?
    Light and love to you