Ode To My Breast

When you first appeared on my chest,

I feared you'd be nothing more than a pest

Until boys looked upon you as a treasure quest

I must admit I believed you were the best --

possessing your very own power no less

Then my children built their nest

Feeding upon you and seeking their rest

Filling me with a love higher and greater than Mt. Everest

Now you fill me with fear and duress

as cancer has invaded, making quite a mess

Soon you'll be no more -- 

Just a silicone globe as my guest

And even though I may jest,

I will miss you dear breast

Surely no one but I can attest

we've had a great ride -- a wonderful fest

Crystal of the Week: Pink (Mangano) Calcite

This beautiful stone is a heart stone that can help us connect with our angels.  It helps to release our innermost fears, work on forgiveness, and face past issues that may have hurt our heart.  Pink Calcite relieves anxiety, guilt and panic attacks.  It ushers in feelings of unconditional self-love.  It's especially useful for anyone who's suffered a trauma.

When combined with Blue Lace Agate, Pink Calcite helps to heal the very young or very old and helps to ease the fear of people who are very ill and in severe pain.

If you've been called to this stone, it can mean you're being asked to focus on yourself; self care and self nurturing are important now.  People who are attracted to this stone are often too generous, too giving with others and are at risk of putting other people's needs before their own.  Working with this stone will increase your self-esteem and give you permission to love and care for yourself.

Cassandra Eason recommends this stone for those who had absent mothers, mothers who passed at a young age or mothers who shouldn't have been moms. It works to heal post part-partum depression and helps facilitate bonding between mother and child.

Can Our LIfe Purpose Change?

I was at church this morning and our priest gave a really good homily on discovering our soul purpose.  He said that our life purpose can change.  As long as we're being good people and trying our best each day, then we're fulfilling our life purpose.  My priest explained that he began life as a bull rider, then joined the military and then received the calling to the priesthood.  He said in all those careers he's been fulfilling God's purpose.  I liked the thought of that.  Gone are the days of the thirty year career, of seeking the one thing that will forever fulfill you.  We are here to do many things, to allow God to speak and act through us in a myriad of ways.  I know when I became a teacher, I thought for sure I'd found my calling.  I was so happy in the classroom for many, many years.  But then I received the calling to do this work, and I was so terrified.  How could I leave my safe, secure job that I loved so much?  Now, of course, I'm happy I followed that calling.  I think that my cancer diagnosis might be calling me to something else, too, but I'm not sure what yet.  All I know is that whatever it is, I'll always try to make sure I'm following God's will.  My mantra each day is this: God use me to do your will.

I hope if any of you reading this are afraid right now to take that leap of faith, to leave a job or start something new, that you'll remember how God leads us in the darkest times of our life.  There really is always a rhyme and reason to the tragedies and triumphs of our lives.  All we have to do is surrender to God's will, ask to fulfill our purpose here and follow the signs that will come to us through inner nudgings, suggestions from friends, dreams and coincidences.  These signs form the path that leads us to our next life purpose.

"God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.
He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work.
Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.” 
― John Henry Newman

Help! I Think I'm Psychic

Every week my in box is littered with people emailing me the same question:  I think I'm psychic, what should I do?  It always takes me a long time to answer that question, so I thought I'd try to sum it up here.

1) If you think you're psychic, you are.  For example, I've never woken up and said, "I think I'm a great football player."  You know why?  Because I'm not.  If you feel you have a talent, an ability, that means you do.  If you're interested in all things paranormal, there's a reason for that.  Go out and find out what you're meant to do with that passion. (More on that  later.)

2) Everyone is a little bit psychic.  Intuition is a muscle and the more you exercise it, the stronger it will become.  The belief about prodigies is a myth in my opinion.  I've read biographies of Mozart claiming that his dad made him play the piano for eight hours a day.  We've all heard the stories of Tiger Wood's dad pushing him; Andre Agassi confessed in his autobiography that he hated tennis but he played six hours a day every day because his dad made him.  Magic Johnson and his best friend Celtic's player Larry Bird often joke how they lived, ate and breathed basketball from a very young age.  When the two were rivals, they practiced even harder.  What could you accomplish if you singularly gave that much time and attention to one pursuit?  All I'm saying is this: don't think you're not psychic if you try to get information a few times and get nothing.  Where would we be in this world if Mozart gave up playing the piano after the first month of learning the keys?

Let me prove my point that everyone is psychic.  I'll bet you'll answer in the affirmative to at least three of these questions:

a) Have you ever called someone and they said, "I was just thinking about you!"


b) Have you ever been talking about someone and then bumped into that person later that week?


c) Have you ever heard your name being called upon waking up only no one was there?


d) Have you dreamed about an event only to have it occur late in real life?


e) Have you smelled something with no nearby physical source such as cigarette smoke, perfume or flowers?


f) Do a lot of coincidences occur for you?


g) Do people say to you, "You always know just what to say to me?"


h) Do you have very vivid dreams, often in color?

4) So, if you think you're psychic, you probably are.  Ok, now what?  First, you need to read, read, read.  Read everything you can on psychics, mediums, chakras, crystals, and meditation.  I've posted some of my favorite books on my website under Recommended Reading (www.thecrystalchick.com)

5) Next, you're going to have to meditate.  There is no way around this.  You can not maintain a busy life style and expect messages from other dimensions to get through to you.  You have to learn how to slow your brain and move through beta, alpha and theta states of mind.  You can begin with guided meditations.  But eventually you should learn to slow down and meditate on your own -- even if it's only for five minutes a day.

6) You also need to figure out who your team is.  Try to connect with your angel and spirit guides through meditation.  For more help, you can listen to my CD Meet Your Spirit Guide which can be found on my website.  It's important for you to get in touch with who your helpers are as you navigate this intuitive journey.

7) You will need a solid foundation of faith.  You have to believe in something higher than yourself to this work.  There's just no way around this.

8) Learn psychic protection techniques.  Judy Hall and Ted Andrews have great books on Psychic Protection as do several other authors.  As you open up, you'll have to protect your aura, learn grounding techniques and releasing methods.

9) You must study and know your chakras.  These energy centers are the gateway to everything.  You have to learn what they are, what they do, how to open them, how to cleanse them and how to spin them to raise your vibrations. My CD called Chakra Cleansing Guided Meditation will teach you how to do this.

10) Learn how to raise and lower your vibrations -- this is key to doing psychic work.  You can do this through a variety of methods -- crystals, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, but most of all positive energy, self love and loving others.

11) Establish a code of ethics for your psychic work.  For example, I only allow people to get two readings a year from me.  This prevents dependency and encourages people to look within for answers.  I maintain confidentiality with my readings.  When I discuss my readings here on the blog, I either get permission from the client or will change their name and sometimes their gender too.  I will not read for someone if their energy doesn't match with mine or if I've had anything to drink.  I can't tell you how many times I'll be at a party happily sipping wine and making small talk when someone will say to me, "Read me! Read me! Read me now!" Yikes.  You must never read for someone when you have anything in your body like prescription medication, alcohol or drugs.  You're opening yourself up to possible psychic attack and taking on the client's energy.

12) And lastly, and probably most importantly, don't do a darn thing psychically until you can honestly answer this question: Why do I want to be psychic?  If your answer doesn't center on helping others, don't do this work.  It's tricky work, it can be depressing to be around so much grief and tragedy, and it drains your  life force energy (look at Edgar Cayce's biography if you don't believe me), so if you aren't in it to help others and be of service, then this is not for you.

Facing Fear

I want to thank you all for your lovely emails sending me prayers and healing as I battle this diagnosis.  So many of you are telling me how strong I am.  Most days I do feel strong, but sometimes the fear sets in.  Last week I had to endure three MRI needle biopsies.  I was stuck inside an MRI machine for 3 1/2 hours.  I was periodically pulled out of the machine so they could drill tissue out of my breasts.  Not fun.  But I tried to be strong.  The only time I thought I would fall apart was when the smiling nurses would ask me questions about my kids or my pets.  I wanted to say, "Listen ladies, I'd love to chat over coffee sometime when I don't have needles dangling out of my breasts making this scary drilling sound, but now's not a good time, okay?"

I'm using this experience as an excuse to reduce my work load, rethink some things in my life and face my fears. I had a really great experience yesterday that taught me the beauty of facing your fears, the gift of discovery that awaits when we push beyond the unknown.  I dropped my girls off at school and then headed to the beach.  I got there early -- a little before 8 -- and parked at the last parking lot before the beach ends.  I was shocked to find the parking lot empty and when I walked onto the sand -- there wasn't a soul in sight.  I'd never seen the beach empty, and it spooked me  a bit.  At that part of the beach, Shell Island, there aren't any houses -- just an endless expanse of beach that ends in a bird sanctuary.  I usually carry Mace in my purse and wondered if I should go get it  -- ah the joys of being married to a police officer!  Anyway, I kept walking and eventually the solitude became a comfort to me.  Then I spotted someone ahead dressed head to toe in black.  I couldn't make out any features.  I could just see someone in a black hoodie and pants. Great, I thought, so what now?  I thought about turning around, but I said, "No, I'm facing my fears today."  Soon I was laughing as the figure in black walked closer and turned out to be a young girl in her 20's collecting seashells.

Then I walked passed a bend in the beach and came across a lovely discovery.  Someone has built a beautiful bench and placed a mailbox next to it.  There's a little sign that says, "Make a wish or send up a prayer."  There's a Sharpie marker dangling from the mailbox and tons of sea shells in and around the mailbox that people have written on.  Some said things like, "I love Sandra forever."  Others were prayers of requests.  "Please help Aunt Linda get better."  And some were prayers to loved ones in heaven.  "I miss you dad," read one.  "I hope you're proud of me."  I sat there on that bench for a moment and pondered the wonder of life.  Who had done this?  Who had taken the time to give us this lovely gift?  And what if I hadn't faced my small and big fears?  What if I'd ignored that lump I'd felt in my breast back in March?  What if I hadn't gone to see the specialists at Duke?  What if I'd turned my car around when I pulled in the empty parking lot and hadn't discovered this wonderful mailbox to heaven?

What will happen to any of us if we refuse to face our fears?


 I suppose Eleanor Roosevelt said it best:

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror.  I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.


Very often, we will find that waiting around the bend, just passed the darkness of fear, is a treasure waiting to be discovered.

The Cracked Vase

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who wanted nothing more than her dad to stay home and play with her.  But he was always coming and going.  Then one day, he gave her a beautiful gold vase with tulips and roses painted all over it. The little girl bought some flowers and put them in the vase, but when she tried to fill it with water, she noticed the water trickled out through a small crack.  No matter how much water she poured into the vase, the water trickled out and eventually the flowers died.  When the little girl grew up, she met a lovely man who promised to whisk her off her feet and marry her.  He gave her a vase that looked very similar to the one her dad gave her.  Once again, when she tried to fill the vase with water, she noticed a crack and soon the flowers she placed in the vase died. The end.

Do you love my Debbie Downer story?  :)

What's the moral?

Well, this week I've met some amazingly strong and courageous people who refuse to give up on certain people in their life -- the absent dad, the drug addicted spouse, the narcissistic mother, the type A never-happy boss, the uncommitted boyfriend.   I've spent the week trying to explain to these clients that these people they're trying to help are cracked vases.  No matter how much time and energy and love and support (i.e water) they pour into the relationship, the water will flow right out.  Nothing will grow or flourish until the person (the cracked vase, not my client) decides to fix the hole for him/herself.

Do you have a cracked vase in your life?  Are you pouring all your time and energy into a relationship trying to fix the person?  (I sound like a commercial for Prozac!) But really, think about it, most of us have had to deal with a cracked vase in our life at some point.  I want to give you permission to walk away from the cracked vase, to throw your hands up and say, "Enough! I can't help you!  You are unfixable."

Do I really believe that some people are unfixable?  Of course not.  What I do believe is that we can't fix other people.  Only God can do that.

Let me give you an example -- a real one, not the sad tale I started with.  Nadine* had been dating Robert* for eight years.  They met in high school and went to college together and now were living together.  She loves his family like her own.  All her "firsts" are tied up with Robert.  There was just one problem.  Robert wasn't happy.  He didn't like high school -- too boring.  He didn't like college -- too much work.  He didn't like their friends -- too gossipy.  At the age of 24, he'd been through five jobs.  He had an excuse for quitting every one of them.   He told Nadine he wanted to marry her, but not now.  He wasn't ready for kids, so what was the point?  This year he sunk into a depression; even their sex life had suffered.  Word to the wise -- if that suffers at the tender age of 24, that should be a major warning sign.  But Nadine looked at all of this and asked one question, "What can I do to help Robert?"

Do you know what I told her?  I said, "Nothing.  You can't do anything to help Robert.  He's a cracked vase.  You have to emotionally let him go.  Stay with him, but detach from any expectation of him.  Live your life; make yourself happy and in the meantime pray, pray, pray.  Pray that the holy spirit comes into his heart and heals him so that he can feel and be happy."

That was a year ago.  I saw Nadine last month.  She took my advice and joined a church, started running and even learned to kayak. She stayed with Robert but focused on herself -- all while keeping Robert in her daily prayers.  The church asked her to go on a mission trip to Haiti.  Robert surprised her by asking to go with her.  The experience seemed to waken his soul.  He came home, got a job working for a non-profit and proposed to Nadine this Christmas.

Now, my client Ben* is another story.  He came to see me two years ago.  He was living with his mother and was afraid of everything -- he was afraid of his mother, afraid to embrace his sexuality, afraid to be happy.  His mother kept telling him that because of her health problems she needed him at home.  She even resented him working.  She would beg him not get involved in a relationship and would make him promise to always be with her.  Ben came to see me just out of curiosity.  When the reading focused on his mother and the main message was "Move out and move on!" he got visibly uncomfortable and a little short with me.  "My mom needs me."  I explained that many women live just find with arthritis and osteoporosis.  I told him about my cracked vase theory and said, "You need to think about yourself before it's too late."  He ignored my advice and started getting a series of illnesses and then depression sunk in.  Soon he was contemplating suicide -- the loneliness was too much to bear.  One day he found the notes from our reading and decided to take my advice.  He got his sisters and brothers to promise to help out with his mom, and rented an apartment ten minutes away from his mother's house.  Ben is now dating a wonderful man and the two are contemplating getting married this summer and adopting a child.  He finally realized his mom was a cracked vase, and if he didn't do something with his life, soon he would be one too.

If you're dealing with a cracked vase, look at how it's effecting you.  How much time do you spend thinking about this person?  How much are you worrying about them?  How much do you talk about this person with your friends?  And now the big question -- has any of this worry and effort helped the cracked vase in your life?  The answer is no.  I'm not asking you to be selfish.  I'm just trying to point out that you have a lot of love and light and joy to give to others.  Be diligent with that gift.  Give it people who ask for it, who will appreciate it and who will return it.  Otherwise, you're just pouring it down the drain and nothing will grow.  You are here for two reasons -- to overcome fear and learn love in its many facets.  Loving a cracked vase isn't love; it's desperate hope. Share your love with those who can appreciate it, embrace it, share it and, most importantly, return it to you!