Are You A Bella?

(Translation: Are Energy Vampires Attracted to You?)

1) Do you have a hard time saying no?

2) When you do say no, do you often feel guilty afterwards?

3) If you say no to a favor or request, do you feel the need to explain and explain and explain why you can’t do said favor?

4)  Do you dislike being the center of attention?

5) Do you enjoy helping others?

6)   Do you feel better when you’re focusing on someone else’s needs rather than your own? Would you describe yourself as a natural caregiver?

7)   When someone’s upset, do you feel it’s your responsibility to help them feel better?

8)   When everything is going well in your life, do you worry more and wonder when the other proverbial shoe will drop?  Do you ever feel guilty for your successes and happiness?

9)  Do you like being needed? Does it make you feel scared to think that no one may need you? Remember, there’s a difference between “need” and “want.” 
10) Do you have a hard time speaking up for yourself and letting your needs be known?

If you answered “yes” to five or more of these questions, you are indeed a Bella.  This means that Energy Vampires can smell you a mile away and know that they can take advantage of you.  So, what’s the anecdote?   Well, for starters, learn to SAY NO! 

Take a cue from Nancy Reagan and learn to just say no.  Make a promise to yourself that you’ll say no to two things this week and promise yourself that you won’t offer an excuse.   Look at the difference in these two scenarios:

SCENE I

“Hi Bella! Can you bring three dozen cupcakes to the church bake sale on Sunday?”

“Jane, I’d love to but I have company in town staying with me that weekend.”

“And they don’t let you bake? Come on Bella, this is for a good cause and we need you.”

“I know Jane and I’d love to, but I’ll have five extra people staying in my home expecting breakfast, lunch and dinner. I just don’t know when I’d find the time to bake three dozen cupcakes.”

“How about just one dozen?”

“Okay.”

“Thanks Bella. You’re a doll!”

SCENE 2

“Hi Bella! Can you bring three dozen cupcakes to the church bake sale on Sunday?”

“No I can’t but thanks so much for thinking of me.”

“Oh. Okay, no problem.”

Do you see the difference? No excuses, no room for negotiations.  Just a simple no followed by a thank you ends that conversation nicely.

Another Bella anecdote is to Deflect, Distract, and Walk Away.  Many energy vampires take our energy by weakening ours through mean and negative comments. 

SCENE 1

“Bella, you’re hair looks terrible like that.  When are you going to style it like I’ve showed you?”

“Why are you always so mean to me?”

“I’m not being mean, dear, I’m being honest. You’re a pretty girl Bella; you just don’t know how to act like it.  An old dish rag has more life in it that brown hair.  Dull, dull, dull.  And can you please stop hanging around with that weird Edward? His eyes keep changing color and I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

“Mom! I hate you. You’ll never understand me.”

SCENE 2

“Bella, you’re hair looks terrible like that.  When are you going to style it like I’ve showed you?”

“Oh mom, I love your sense of humor.  Thanks for caring about me.” And then walk away.

If you practice these three techniques – say no without offering an excuse, distract the vampire and walk away – you will find yourself growing in your own power each and every day.

You’ve got to stop energy vampires in their tracks.  Never engage them.  Never explain to them or make excuses for their behavior or yours.  Be strong.  Feel safe and comfortable in your own skin so that you won’t look to others for approval.  Energy vampires hate confident, independent people. 

Learn to enjoy and seek out your own company.  Reject the need to feel needed by others. 

Compliment yourself every day.  Start a validation journal.  Every day, write down and complete this statement, “I value myself because                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Look in the mirror every morning and say these simple but powerful words, “I deserve to be happy.”

Before you know it, you’ll be like garlic to energy vampires! For more powerful and engaging strategies, sign up for our Psychic Protection and Energy Vampire class teleclass tonight.  

Are You an Energy Vampire?

An energy vampire is someone who sucks your energy dry, who leaves you feeling depleted, dejected and depressed.  Energy vampires can be angry or passive aggressive.  They will use many techniques to steal your energy.  Sometimes, we ourselves are energy vampires.  I have to stop myself from telling anyone who will listen about the complicated dreams I dreamt the night before.  Boring!  And when I'm not feeling well, I can get a little whiny.  Just ask my husband.  So, are you an energy vampire?

You just might be an energy vampire if you:

1) love to be the center of attention "You'll never guess what just happened to me!!"
2) interrupt people often to get your point across "Oh, I can totally top that story!"
3) feel the need to tell people intimate details about your life "You would not believe what my gynecologist told me."
4) enjoy gossiping and spreading rumors even if you're not sure they're true "Did you hear about the neighbors on the corner?  Foreclosure!"
5) tell people something mean and then say, "What? I'm just being honest. Green is not your color."
6) or you avoid the truth and let it leak out instead in passive aggressive statements.  "Did you want your hair to look like that?" Or "You're so adorable the way you love to overcook your food.  Bless your heart!"
7) are always in the center of a drama "CALL ME BACK NOW! I'm going to lose it."
8) feel afraid you're missing out on something so you spend your time talking on the phone, stalking Facebook, Twittering and texting.  Your Facebook posts probably read like this: "Sitting here in my lovely home watching the moonlight with my amazing husband as my perfect children slumber in their bed.  Does life get any better?"
9) ignore people's boundaries.  "Nice car.  What you'd pay for it?"
10) refuse to take no for an answer.  "Okay, so you have to be in your sister's wedding.  Can't you leave early to help me move? This is important."
11) Exaggerate everything.  "This is the worst day of my life.  Ever.  I mean look at this nail.  It's broken!"
12)blame everyone for your problems.  "I'd never have gotten fired if my boss and co-workers weren't such losers."
13) feel like everyone is out to get you.  "I only got fired because they're all so jealous of me."
14) Avoid and fear change.  "Yeah, my boyfriend can be a jerk, but he's all mine."

Alright, so maybe I've exaggerated some of my examples for humor's sake, but I think you get the point. We will come in contact with an energy vampire.  They might be our boss, our co-workers, our own family members, or our friends and neighbors.  So what's a vampire slayer to do?

Walk away from Drama Queen Eileen.

Throw white light at Talkative Ted

Put pink light around Narcissistic Nancy

Set firm boundaries with Victim Vanessa

Realize you'll never change Blame Game Wayne

And Pity Party Patty?  Toss her a quart of ice cream and a violin and leave her to cry at her own darn party.

Want to learn more?  Join Deb and me Tuesday night for our Teleclass on how to recognize, avoid and protect yourself from Energy Vampires.  We'll teach you several chakra clearing and aura strengthening exercises, show you how to cleanse your home of negativity and how to recognize patterns you may have inadvertently set up to attract these Negative Neds into your life.  They'll be plenty of time for your questions too. Email me at samantha@thecrystalchick.com to register by Tuesday, February 22.  We'll send you all the handouts and the call-in number.

Have a happy, drama free Sunday!